this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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I friend, I'm Jake. Do you have any fun projects you're working on?
I'm playing with code and AI stuff a lot lately.
Friends are a matter of taking every opportunity you have and finding people that share interests. It also comes down to needs and being useful to each other. The primary factor is simply making the efforts to connect with people.
Sorry for the delayed response. Fun projects, means hobbies and interests you actively explore. For instance, I have a lot of interests and projects, and I don't want to overwhelm you, but here are a few: I ride a road race bicycle regularly and was an amateur racer for years, I like to design stuff in CAD for 3D printing (mostly functional/mechanical stuff), I also have a small electronics lab taking up most of my bedroom where I can design, etch, and build my own electronic boards and projects. Don't feel bad if you haven't quite developed interests like I have. I am unusual in that I was disabled while riding my bike to work nearly 10 years ago. I am physically limited in a weird way that makes it hard to hold posture to sit up or stand for more than one hour. I have an unlimited amount of time to learn and develop my own projects.
Let me maybe share some sage advice. "Normal" life, for most people, involves working full time or going to school. If you really analyze what this means, work or school is giving your life purpose. This purpose is what determines many other aspects of life such as the people you encounter regularly and your emotional state as far as how fulfilled you are in the present situation.
Let's ignore the physical injury part of becoming disabled. The really hard thing to deal with is the loss of purpose and the social isolation that comes with limited mobility.
If you feel like you are not connecting well with the right kinds of people, think about what you can change within areas that give your life purpose. Maybe this means pursuing different subjects and groups in school or a new career path. Maybe you are unable to change your schooling or career path. If that is the case, then look into pursuing hobbies and projects you find interesting.
This is why I started off by introducing myself and the interest I am actively working on right now. It is unlikely that we have these in common, but if you have an interest, it would be something I would enjoy engaging in conversation about with someone if they happen to be anywhere close to where I am at presently on the learning curve. If someone engages with me like this, it is the kind of thing that can possibly develop into a deeper friendship. Friendships usually start because they are useful like this. Once they prove useful, they may grow into new areas of usefulness, areas like emotional connections and needs along with mutual interpersonal growth and stimulation. These levels of utility in a relationship are what most people call a best friend. Emotions are both a need and to some extent a drug that alters feelings. Don't objectify people and relationships as something useful by how you treat them. Use this as perspective as a tool to analyze yourself and your life choices to pursue things you find enjoyable. You may find that you don't really need other people as much as you once thought, or you may find areas you want to change or grow that will expose you to the types of people you want to be around. The key to all of it is to think about what you are doing in terms of the purpose and fulfilment it gives you. That is some hard earned advice that seems appropriate here. I hope it helps.