this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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[–] bloopernova@programming.dev 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

Lisp. All is Lisp.

Data's entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.

Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior's Language!

Vulcans exclusively use APL.

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.

Cardassians use Haskell because they're evil.

[–] zeet@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] bloopernova@programming.dev 18 points 1 year ago

Holy shit you win, lol

[–] shutz@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago

That's what the Pakled use. The best of them actually use QuickBasic to "make it go faster".

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you'd think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.

[–] ZenkorSoraz@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

PHP was invented by a Pakled

Are you sure? They might have learned something then. Or did they get stuck with a turtle-logic compiler instead?

[–] directive0@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] bloopernova@programming.dev 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.

After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.

[–] Haywire@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

The Q continum uses forth.

[–] startrek@hub.hubzilla.de 3 points 1 year ago

@bloopernova Wouldn't the Vulcans prefer Prolog?

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

What about php