this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
135 points (88.6% liked)

Asklemmy

43757 readers
2316 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Interesting_Test_814@jlai.lu 8 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Does getting paid still counts as "sans coercion" though ?

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There's a huge difference between picking up a streetwalker, going to a legal brothel, or answering a personal ad in places like Canada where it's a grey area if it's legal

Like, off the street there's probably some coercion somewhere, legal brothel it's less likely they're forced to do it but it might still be trafficking but there's likely at least some form of oversight, and personal ads are a total crapshoot. It might be someone who's selective and just making some money, it might be someone that has to accept every offer.

When things arent 100% legal, some shady is statistically just going to happen. You can't regulate an illegal business.

[–] Interesting_Test_814@jlai.lu 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tbh I know little about the topic and was under the (maybe wrong) impression than many sex workers are poor people that need to do it to survive. But then I guess the issue I was pointing is more about our capitalist society than about sex work

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In Germany the majority (about 95 %) of sex workers are people from the poorest countries of EU. Because of the high demand and the amount of money you can make with brothels there is also an increase in trafficking from countries outside of the EU.

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Regulated does not mean people weren’t pressured into it. Telling a young single mother from a poor country that most of her problems will vanish if she just works as a sex worker for a few years in Germany is legal and regulated. It’s not trafficking and not really coercion either. She will get a social security number, pay taxes, get health care, all that stuff she perhaps won’t get at home.

What do you think she will tell you if you ask her whether she is doing the job freely and if she wants to keep the job? Of course she will say yes.

But is it really just like any other job? The fact that sex workers in countries where it is regulated still suffer disproportionately from mental health problems, alcohol and drug abuse tells a different story.

[–] zndl972@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do you really feel like you’re coercing a waitress when you tip?

[–] blackbrook@mander.xyz 7 points 1 year ago

This is an interesting analogy. I do get the sense that many waitresses and waiters hate their job, and do it because of lack of other options. However I do feel that by using their services and paying them, I'm helping them. They've made this choice, under a certain amount of coercion from the circumstances and system (which most of us suffer from to some degree, working because we have to), but my helping them get paid is helping them. I do find it important to be nice to them and treat them as real people, even moreso than people with whom my interaction is on a more equal footing.

However there is nuance here in matters of degree. I think I can tell when a place treats their staff well or shittily--it tends to slow in their attitude. I prefer not to patronize a place when I get that shitty vibe.

It's interesting to think about how this translates to sex work. If I used such services, I would want to feel like the person I paid somewhat enjoyed her job.

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Does waiting tables and having sex with strangers feel similar to you? These jobs aren’t comparable from a psychological standpoint. I never heard that it’s common for waiters to be substance users or have PTSD.

[–] zndl972@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Weirdly enough, restaurant workers are some of the highest substance users group. A Google search on this subject is quite surprising.

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago

It's not even close to sex workers which have the highest amount of substance abuse among all professions.

[–] Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Negotiating a price is not itself coercion.

[–] spasm01@lemmy.ko4abp.com 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I suppose it depends on how desperate someone is for money. I am in an industry where client relationships are important, but more money will not make my hard no a yes

[–] Interesting_Test_814@jlai.lu 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Indeed, as I clarified under another comment

Tbh I know little about the topic and was under the (maybe wrong) impression than many sex workers are poor people that need to do it to survive. But then I guess the issue I was pointing is more about our capitalist society than about sex work

[–] spasm01@lemmy.ko4abp.com 3 points 1 year ago

That I cannot say, and seeing as in the vast majority of the US it is illegal, all we have is supposition unfortunately

[–] NightAuthor@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Labor as coerced selling of one’s body is an interesting view.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 2 points 1 year ago

That's literally all work in capitalism. You use your time and body to do things for other people in exchange for money. We're all prostitutes, only a few of us have sex for it.