this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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Do you make use of the sex workers while in the relationship with the new partner?
Absolutely not
Then why speak of it?
I don’t talk about previous sexual partners with new ones.
OP's out there on first dates asking if they have a problem with him doing it...
I can't imagine women are bringing it up
Not necessarily first dates. I just answer truthfully when the topic comes up. I don't want to have it be a problem further down the line
It's just really hard to believe a women asks if you've had sex with a sex worker...
Most people don't ask for numbers, let alone details.
I've been asked that question, and not just one time, so I believe OP that it can sometimes come up.
It has unfortunately come up before, hence my aprehension in approaching the topic.
I ask my partners because I do not want to be with someone who pays for sex. Simply because our views on sex would be very different which leads to problems in the relationship, from my experience. Also, it would be quite dumb to lie on this because than we are both just wasting our time.
For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do
You have an over-sharing problem.
I can't agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.
Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.
I’ve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.
Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.
It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?
The fact that you need to "disclose" this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it