banana_meccanica

I do, but I don't think so.

Well actually agree with this upopular opinion. Maybe because I am old school, I remember youtube was just something random, videos made by casual who don't really pretending to become "ultra-rich-content-creator-influencers". Now its all about monetize every single bit.

Honestly I don't know, I give up on life time ago, then this last year I start "living" again by having a daily activies and job. But I deal with this like someone dead inside, I don't feel any joy. I am not even looking for a goal. I see nothing in other people, I interact with then know that i get forget as soon the day end. I am just too scared to kill myself.

I'm glad to finally read someone that's say something real. Its all about lying, yes I educate myself and I even try to fake a fair enough resumee. I realize this is the only way to hope for something. I don't have special abilities, not good at math, coding boring me. I try a lot of thing in this life, I am in a training program now, but things move slowly, I'm 35, I should have a wife by now, an happy place called home, but looks so far away, looks even that I lost the train to having that life. Feeling already old even if I do nothing, life ask things I dont have. Stupid things like a car, I don't want it, I don't like it, but people want me to have it. This example apply to everything. In order to have something I wish for I need to want something I don't like, that's so stupid and I feel bad.

Still everything is now ashes, dust in the wind, nothing. All this fun hobbies are now only a meanless memory, I didn't have nothing back, all the fun you say is become, for me, hate. Hate to have wasted my time laughing like a fool behind videogames, books, even sports, telling myself that was okay, creating a big lie that hobby was something important, just to see it ending without any result. So that's the point, limited time sure it's everything, but meaning is also everything in this life.

Tree with intelligence? I don't see any reason why this trees accepts to be buildings, there will be no benefit from them to having us around.

I didn't find any good enough hobby in this 35 years of life that didn't fade after some time. At moment I'm very empty inside, I spend half day sleeping and other half working, everything looks expansive to do, I give up on everything, I'm keeping myself alive because I'm just scared of the pain and I can't imagine stop existing.

Like sentient organism? A building made of flesh who have thoughts? I will stay very far from any cities.

My first porn was on floppy disk

I think human interaction change with times that tell us what we need to have to be good as friend. I am also running from people but not because I can't deal with conflict but because shame. I spend many time to understand and shame is mine final answer. I am ashamed of my dirty apartment in my father garage, I am ashamed of not having a degree, a job, the will of even find an occupation. Then I ashamed of my body, fat and full of scars of heavy loss of height. Simple I am just a monster, that lives only because parents keep alive. What kind of friend can be possible be? That's there reason to escape. This why not everyone can have interactions.

Too much extremist and people who just here to sell their blogs, website, onlyfans, ect.