To start with, Usenet was often just as toxic as any current social media/forum site.
I definitely don't think this is true. That's the whole "eternal September" thing.
I do think trolls existed, definitely they did on BBSes, but the magnitude of the problem was just not even in the same ballpark.
Then we started to get the first web based news sites with a social aspect (Slashdot/Fark/Digg/etc).
I remember very distinctly being around for that first big meltdown on Slashdot, with Jon Katz being put in a special position by the site administrators in a way that the userbase didn't agree with, a little bit of that impedance mismatch developing from that in what had before then been an all "us" type of place, and then something escalated and there was a big explosion and exodus. I don't even fully remember the details, but I think I remember one of the site admins getting into a big public spat with some big part of the userbase, and going and tampering with the comments database to make his point, and that was pretty much the beginning of the end. It never recovered and what had been a pretty good thing up until that point just flamed out and became a shell.
Everyone sort of assumed it was an "us" place that the nerds were finally in charge of. That's what made it special. Then that perceived betrayal of trust when the administrators tried to assert that it was "their" place firstly, and the users existed only at their pleasure, was really shocking to a lot of people. Again, on the modern commercial internet, even on moderator-curated Reddit clones like Lemmy, that's normal, that's the whole point of what I'm saying here. But back then the template of assumptions was much more innocent.
That's the central conflict I'm talking about. How we can get back to the days where it's all an "us" place. Lemmy is a huge step forward, I think.
Like yourself, not sure how to fix it, but splitting the tech companies apart from their advertising divisions would be step one. Probably would be helpful to require social media companies to be standalone businesses. Would at least be easier to hold them accountable. And maybe require that they be operated as nonprofits? To help disincentivize the kind of behavior we’ve got now.
I'm mostly talking about the volunteer internet. I don't have any active accounts on commercial social media, even for business things. Why would I? It's horrible, and I don't see it getting any better for any reason any time soon. I think just outcompeting it from a better direction, and letting it follow along into the new protocols or not, is a better way.
Yeah. The whole concept of the fediverse is a huge step forward. And even squatting on community names doesn't really work. If gaming@lemmy.world sucks, people can move to gaming@lemm.ee.
I do completely agree that the protocols are not really set up fully with these considerations in mind, and they should be, more so.