I understand your frustrations and I hope you can find people who (100% honest) are more mature than that, and have a happier and more positive attitude.
This whole "I am so mature" alleged superiority vibe stinks of teenage insecurity. You can do better than that.
Good point. I guess you're right, there are no flattering roles. But each of those options you list would have been less on top of existing prejudices.
Making her the (non-technical) project manager whose only contribution is "how many story points is that?", who's then silenced because "this is important!", confirms the typical prejudices about women in tech:
Especially being talked over. This matches many women's experiences in men-dominated environments to a T.
I'd much rather the technically competent, important but socially weird engineer (Jared) be the woman, or the incompetent boss, who's in charge and calls the shots. Even having no women in the skit would be better than this Cindy role.
Or, weird idea I know, multiple people with different roles being women. 🙄