Elementary, my dear Mr. Putin.
ArugulaZ
This dude gives me the same vibes as Mojo Jojo in that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where he's protected by a bunch of dumb hippies.
"Not so fast, Mojo Jojo!"
"Help, I'm being oppressed!"
"Not so fast, Powerpuff Girls!"
Hardware wise, that's been pretty much the case forever (example: Atari 5200 is a consolized Atari 400 computer), but it's that simplified interface and the instant gratification that makes the distinction between the two. On a game system: insert game. Press start. Play game. On a computer? Tons and tons and tons of loading and file management and updates and passwords and downloads and accepting EULAs and Oh God now it's crashed and I have to start the damn thing all over again.
Game consoles satisfy that urgent need for "ME GAME NOW." At least, they used to. In the olden times, you could start a game in the time it takes for you to drop a quarter in the machine and press 1P. Now, it seems like game companies do everything within their power to delay that dopamine fix on consoles... which is uncomfortably close to the gaming experience on computers. "Another cut scene? Gee, great. It's not like I started this video game to play a video game."
Vaguely related: why the hell was it so hard for me to start Borderlands 3 on my Xbox? It's like, dude, I don't need your annoying third party service. This is still a game system, not a computer, right? Just... just let me press start and start the game without signing up for some other crap.
Good GOD, man. I literally said "EWWWWWWW!!!" when I read this. This is like the genocidal version of Gene Hackman's plans in the Superman film.
Sure blew up Dr. Oz's political career.
What is it about this man that makes me instantly break into a limerick?
I'd suggest this guy get the yogurt enema that was so popular at Kellogg during its early days.
(You know what cures those deviant sexual urges? Having thick white liquid injected into your rectum.)
He had a line in his comedy routine about yeast infections. "Am I gonna come home one day and get greeted with some kaiser rolls?" Or something like that.
There are towns in Texas that reek of cattle shit, twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week. Even Christmas. The stench doesn't take holidays.
OH GOD SOMEONE TURNED ON THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!!
Kbin shows a picture of Data from Star Trek smoking a pipe.