Arkhive

Oof yeah, the work environment sounds rough. The industry I’m in overlaps a lot with queer, and neurodivergent folk, which helps set the tone of a lot of interactions for sure.

I really relate to the being “one of the more engaging folks”. I’m very good at being interested in new information, which often translates to people talking to me when they should be talking to the whole group. That is super draining because once it’s started I feel a bit of a responsibility to maintain that so the person giving instruction doesn’t get thrown off.

The part about first impressions is interesting to me. I feel like people that are that quick to write someone off aren’t really people I would personally want to hang out with. Obviously in a work environment that is tough because you’re around them no matter what, but yeah, seems like those people aren’t very accepting or accommodating.

Have you considered talking to your employer about potential accommodations? I read an article recently about a bunch of adults that finally brought their diagnoses up to their bosses and it actually went really well.

Thanks for the kind words at the end of your reply. Keep on keeping on!

I was about to say something similar. Like I started wearing some “women’s” underwear and running shorts even before I realized I wasn’t a guy. Obviously for people that aren’t trying to hide things I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it, but some of the underwear I have now is just better than tons men’s underwear I wore pre-transition. Just materials, and seam placement, and color options, all of it. You can still find boxers and everything. It’s kind of just better.

Some of what I’ll say has probably been said, but here are some of my thoughts.

I really struggle with small talk. Like I would rather sit in silence than exchange useless thoughts/information, so a lot of the “standard” ways society makes conversation just really pain me, even as just a start for more interesting conversations.

I’ve remedied this in a few ways. The first, as others have mentioned, try to find something about the person you take interest with. Getting into fashion has proven to be a wonderful tool for this for me. It’s very easy to find an item in someone’s outfit I like. If it’s an interesting piece of clothing or jewelry it probably has a fun story behind it. So much of the clothing that actually gets sold these days is really bland I feel, just overpriced basics. Many actually neat pieces are vintage or at least second hand, and often come with stories of where they were from or how they came into someone’s possession.

I’m not saying become a fashion girlie, but a lot of people carry indicators of their interests in some way. Stickers on water bottles or pins on bags. I love seeing someone with a sticker from the same fandom as me, or a pride pin. Even if it’s just a “hey I like your pin”. Getting in the habit of stuff like that will just help you approach people, and make you more approachable.

Another thing I’ve started doing more is smiling at people. This was something I had to get used to as I started passing more, but most people that were not socialized as men often smile at one another in passing. Even just actually looking at people. Like I don’t feel as weird observing things I find interesting, because worst case if someone notices me looking at them or something, I’ll just smile. Show some joy, people will often join. I feel like there was this period where I assumed I was “smiling wrong” and just looking like a creep, but idk, I’m just smiling in the way that feels genuine to me, and most people seems to get it. From there if more interaction happens then I got back to my first point.

Between these two things I think I’ve just become a more socially accessible person. I’m good at being interested in things, I had to get better at noticing things I can take interest in.

Finally, it is tiring. Make sure to take care of yourself. If your social battery is empty, don’t be social!! As I’ve lived more of my truth, with both my autism and my transition, I’ve naturally fallen in with people that are also very accessible and accommodating. If I need to have a non-verbal night with friends they won’t question that and in fact we all know enough sign language to make that very doable.

You’ll start meeting people that you mesh with!! It is absolutely tough putting yourself out there, and you’re clearly putting lots of thought and effort into this. Keep going!

I am in the exact same position lol checking off some other games while it matures

Unrelated, but we have a near identical feed

I use foot, it’s very bare bones, but I’m using zellig to get all the QoL features I could want!

You might already have something picked out, but for potential future reader I’m reviving this thread a little to add another good word for the Healthy Rips vapes. In an effort to deep, deep, clean (I’m talking definitely voiding any warranty type deep) my old piece I killed the power button. Even though I had a few issues with the design of the vape, I ordered a new one with little hesitation as I liked the first more than anything else I’ve tried. Plus, it lasted me 5+ years and way exceeded my expectations for price compared to how much “material” was put through it in its lifetime.

When I got the new one I was pleasantly surprised they in the years since buying the original, almost all of my design issues were addressed and I’d now recommend the vape even more so.

Agreed! Great work!! The shadow behind her looking like the other bombs as well as her having horns. Excellent touch.

Yeah, I was running it through Tailscale too. I’m definitely closer to a newbie than I am a self hosting vet, so there’s likely some fault of mine that made things not run so well.

Yeah I had my eye on this a few months back when I was looking for a FOSS windows Remote Desktop alternative. Between the security issues, and generally struggle to get it working well, I eventually went to a sunshine/moonlight combo for shockingly high performance screen sharing that can even handle basic gaming if need be.

I’ve worked on one of these that sails off the coast of New England. It was a passenger boat that would do week long cruises. Long, tough hours, but the view from the office each morning was unbeatable.

I took degoogling as an opportunity to review and purge a lot of accounts and actually hold myself to going through the GDPR data removal requests and all that. I refreshed passwords and emails of accounts I actually wanted to keep, and pretty much ditched the rest. If the account never made it into my password manager in the first place it clearly wasn’t very important, so it can bounce around cyberspace forever I guess.