this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] dandroid@dandroid.app 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone is different, so I don't think we can lump everyone together and say "all people do X". Sometimes people grow. Sometimes new life experiences change our outlook on life.

For me personally, I had some opinions based on hate, but as I made friends with people that I "hated", I started to realize that I couldn't be more wrong about them. For me, I was brainwashed by people that claimed to be religious leaders, but didn't practice anything near what said religion claimed to be about. It's not an excuse, and I should have known better. But I can't change the past. I can only try to be better.

[–] DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

To your credit, you eventually figured it out and grew. Cult leader brainwashing is a powerful thing and often occurs in an echo chamber so you shouldn't blame yourself for not being able to see through it sooner.

[–] knivesandchives@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 year ago

Anecdotally, it would seem so.

I think it depends on the root of the hatred. An awful lot of hatred comes from ignorance, and when people dispell the ignorance, the hatred follows.

But sometimes the hatred is so fundamental to someone's lived experiences that even if it's obviously wrong, it's absolutely true to them. In those cases, I suspect it would be harder to let go of it.

[–] ScrollinMyDayAway@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago

Exposure to other people/cultures/lifestyles generally leads towards more understanding of them. I believe that is part of the core right-wing attitude that 'colleges are liberal indoctrination centers'. You're not being indoctrinated, you are being introduced and (gasp) seeing that they are regular people, just like you.

[–] BumpingFuglies@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I don't think many have beliefs rooted in hatred. Most "hateful" beliefs are rooted in fear and ignorance. I don't usually look to pop culture for my moral philosophy, but I believe Yoda said it best:

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

It's why leaving a podunk town to go to college usually makes people much more liberal and open-minded; they're exposed to new ideas and a wider variety of people. Their fear of the unknown is replaced with connections to real people and experiential knowledge that everyone is an individual, no matter what their identity's social stereotype may be.

In my experience, the path to enlightenment is paved with love and understanding. No matter how hateful & misguided a person may be, as long as they're not a literal psycho/sociopath, showing them genuine compassion and a willingness to listen, not just preach, will almost always have a positive impact.

[–] Braindead@programming.dev 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well there's this black guy who converted a ton of KKK members, which I think answers your question. See this NPR article...

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

props for including a source

[–] oddsbodkins@midwest.social 6 points 1 year ago

Yes. But generally it takes long-term constant exposure to the thing they think they hate. In order to override the indoctrinated or programmed in misconceptions.

[–] excel@lemmy.megumin.org 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The only way to change someone’s core values is to show them the error of their ways WITHIN their own current value system.

If you can manage to find some purchase there you might have a chance, but it’s more likely that you will not find it.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 1 points 1 year ago

That's an uphill battle. People generally don't like being told how they're wrong. Instead of learning anything, they're more likely to make up explanations for their existing belief and thereby strengthening their wrong belief.

Or even broader; you can't really teach anyone anything at all by telling them what is wrong or right. Understanding is something each individual has to figure out themselves. It doesn't matter if you want to teach math or anti-hate or anything else. They just don't get it until they figure it out.

For that reason it's often better to simply question their belief. Don't judge them, even if you know that they're wrong. Just keep questioning until they're forced to actually think about why they believe whatever it is.

[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Yes. You might enjoy reading about the story of Meghan Phelps-Roper and how her beliefs changed.

[–] MrPoopyButthole@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Absolutely!

I've always felt that Hate is an absence of Love, like how Cold is an absence of Heat.

You can go to a person and emit all the love in the world, and for some people that's all it takes, but some people are just too insulated. That usually happens when their hate is tied to an ideology that their identity is dependent on.

Sometimes it's not an ideology so much as a traumatic experience that associated their trauma with a hatred of some person(s).

In either case, the only way to dispell that hate is for the person to open up their barriers enough for the love to make it's way in, and that's a lot of work.

I like to think I did. I used to belong to a cult.

[–] Blamemeta@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

Problem is what is hatred. Some think that abortion is baby murder, and baby murder is definitly hateful.

If you don't even agree on what is hatred, what hope do you have?