Asklemmy

Debian, Arch, and Gentoo walk into a restaurant. Debian orders a some cheese. Arch orders a milk and starts shaking it frantically to separate the curds and whey, and Gentoo orders a cow.

Unable to finish their food, they decide to pack it away and leave.

Debian aptly puts the cheese in their lunchbox and quietly walks away. Arch pulls out the newly produced fragrant cheese, and stuffs it messily in their pocket. Gentoo pulls out a saddle and mounts the cow.

Emacs and Vi walk into a pub. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. They both agree on a nice locally-sourced Ale with a good kick to it.

They down drink after drink. Emacs starts to slur words and sway after a while, but Vi just keeps on knocking them back seemingly unaffected by it.

As the night goes on, more and more patrons leave the bar. "Time to quit" says the bartender.

Emacs nods, stumbles up to a piano, and strikes a few chords. After a few moments of emptying pockets and saving lint, they vanish in a puff of smoke. Vi watches this display and then turns back to their drink.

"You know," says the bartender, "you can quit whenever you want."

Vi just smiles and weeps.

X11 and Wayland are stopped off in a diner on their way to a funeral, looking at a map.

"Mommy" asks X11 to the waitress, "which way to the cemetery?" The waitress is a little taken aback, but gives exact instructions, and even includes instructions on how to open the door.

Wayland smirks, seeing the cemetery out of the window of the diner. "Follow me" he says, and walks through the window, shattering the glass.

• Debian users are so grounded, that they're not allowed on planes
• Debian users are so stable, that they had to leave the room before the Higgs boson was discovered.
• Debian users are so enduring, that they're forbidden from touching grass in case they turn into trees.