this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 36 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Here me out on this:

  1. Join the war on the US side
  2. Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
  3. Defect to Canada before they catch you
  4. Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup

If you go to Canada right away, there's no way you're getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 11 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.

Moose aren't like a sacred animal in Canada right?

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 10 points 12 hours ago

You'll have to fight the Mounties for them:

[–] nepenthes@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.

I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it's not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.

Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)

Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or ~~8~~ 6.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.

Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.

[–] leadore@lemmy.world 18 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 hours ago

The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.

Except it didn't work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?

The USA is bad for everyone now... Even Americans.

[–] Pieisawesome@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.

California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.

It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.

[–] Natanox@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 11 hours ago

Create a Union. Let Europe help - we're VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called "land of the free".

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

It would be good to have an established federal government. Knowing america, though, we would fuck that up real quick.

[–] Dhar@lemmy.ca 25 points 14 hours ago (8 children)

We burned your White House down once, we'll do it again!

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 16 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 22 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, the white house can burn down twice in a four year period.

[–] activ8r@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 hours ago

British here:

[–] Dhar@lemmy.ca 5 points 12 hours ago

Thank you for the serious-hat correction!

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.

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[–] SARGE@startrek.website 67 points 17 hours ago

I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.

If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well...

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.

Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended......

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 26 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you for your future service.

We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.

[–] ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 6 points 14 hours ago

Y'all's about to see a Canadian's real war face... On their homeland.

[–] erin@social.sidh.bzh 15 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

well on one side Canada has Wali and can resurrect Leo Major with their secret maple syrup potion, on the other side they would loose access to their F-35 fleet. So I don't know if Canada has a chance or not.

If Canada find a way to clone Leo Major and send one Leo Major on each American city, it's an easy win for Canada. Can Mapple Syrup clone people?

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 17 points 17 hours ago

Do not underestimate the power of maple syrup.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Don’t you dare call my dear F35 loose, she’s as tight as ever!

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[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

The white house will be burned to black.

[–] nuke@sh.itjust.works 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (3 children)

Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.

Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.

Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, 'be there, it'll be wild'.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago

Cope for when you're auto-balanced.

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