this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 22 comments
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[–] codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 80 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The correct answer is telling your asshole relatives that they need to do a match with the mini-goliath themselves if they think they're so tough. Then they either have to play along with the bit or else they're the asshole who hurt a child's feelings. (Spoilers if they're like my family: they will, but then you and the lil bro can bond over that shared trauma. Ah, family!)

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 14 points 3 days ago

Yeah, the "gives me shit and makes fun of me for being weaker" could be either anon being too dense to realize it was a joke (perhaps mean spirited), or the family being shit. Given that anon then beats lil bro, sounds more like the former.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My dad used to make me and my brother fight all the time when we were kids. It was like a family sporting event. All of the men gathered around and shouted, “git eeem buddy, don’t let eem gitchya! That’s riiite, yeah! Git eem in the belly!”

It usually ended with one of us crying and the men saying, “awwwww, calm down sis. It’s just a bloody nose.”

Reminds me of one of my favorite things I ever heard my dad say.

He said something that upset my brother when I was winning the fight, so my brother charged him. He put his hand on my brother’s head and held him back while he swung with all of his might.

My dad laughed and said. “HUHT HUHT! Look at eem, he’s like a little banty rooster! He’s flogging with all his little might! (bantam rooster, dad pronounced it “bay-nee)

It riled my brother up for days. I called him banty for years. Hahaha

For fun, this is a bantam rooster trying to fight a normal sized rooster.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

One of the commonalities of trauma is sharing those traumatic experiences with others and then seeing them look aghast.

[–] CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

The best is when you're sharing a regular story and someone else has to explain how fucked up it was.

Like I'm sorry, I thought that was normal and was sharing because I thought you could relate. No, I don't need the contact info for your therapist.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Bro that hillbilly life was nuts.

I have seen and experienced things that would shock a bolt of lightning.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 131 points 4 days ago

the trick was to challenge the kid to a rematch, but make a big show of shoving a huge amount of spinach into your mouth and chomping on it before squaring up. Make him believe the Popeye myths.

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 103 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I did this with my son, let him kick my ass in an arm wrestle then I gave him the glory, little fella was so chuffed it was awesome.

I gave him a 'real' arm wrestle a year something later and he said "you let me win before didn't you?" 😂

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 55 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Sure, but did you beat the shit out of him for good measure?

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

A crooked tree is spared the staff.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"No. I've been working out every day in preparation for this rematch."

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 3 points 4 days ago

Oh that's a great one! I wished I had of thought of that.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 45 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Anons family sounds like a bunch of morons. The reasonable approach would have been to challenge them to arm wrestling. But I guess they don't do reasonable on 4chan.

[–] donuts@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I always go in thinking it's just creative writing exercises. Rarely disappoints

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Most likely.

[–] orrk@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

honestly, do you really think that people posting on 4chan have stable familial situations? most people there don't know interacting with people in any other fashion because that's what they get treated like at home.

[–] randomdeadguy@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

The 'tism is strong

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 days ago

No rematcg? You're a better fighter, he's still stronger than you at arm wrestling.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago

It's even worse in chess.

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Yep they are, just stalemate next time and if you start losing slowly win the arm wresel

[–] BennyInc@feddit.org 2 points 4 days ago

Rematch with the other arm.