You're not alone, you're not weird, this happens so often that there's professionals trained to help you.
this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
12 points (100.0% liked)
Mental Health
4306 readers
3 users here now
Welcome!
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules
1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.
2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.
3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.
If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.
4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.
If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
- Therapy
Neurodegenerative Disease Support
Friends and Family of People with Addiction
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
Community Moderation
Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
This might not be what you want to hear, but you're right. People will come and go from your life in ways you don't have any control over. The only person who will never leave you is you. So, be a friend to yourself! You don't have to be your only friend, but once you have a solid foundation of being ok with just yourself, you won't need to depend on others as much. You'll be better able to enjoy their company without worrying about being abandoned. It won't hurt as much when friends leave, whether it's intentional or just a result of changing circumstances. Of course, this is not an easy thing to just do. As others have recommended, a therapist could possibly help you with this.
I've been in the same situation you describe, and it's taken more than a decade (and me having a complete breakdown and him still not leaving me even though I was a complete mess) for me to finally believe it. I'm guessing you may have had someone in your childhood who told you they cared about you, but their actions later revealed they actually didn't. Exploring those feelings - the real abandonment you did experience - can help you heal and separate current and future experiences from the past.
I work as a psychologist, fears of abbandonment are a lot more common than many think. If you are this afraid I'd recommend going to psychotherapy to sort it out. It can help a lot if you put the effort in.