this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
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My daughter is 5 now. She's discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I've also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.

What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁

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[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Who.

Who who?

You’re making a good owl!

My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.

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[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea

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[–] mvilain@fedia.io 13 points 1 day ago

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because they didn't have chickens back then.

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

People who run in front of cars get tired.
People who run next to cars get winded.
People who run behind cars get exhausted.

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[–] Balthazar@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Is your refrigerator running? Yes? Better go catch it!

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Q: What do you call a large amphibious mammal with a huge mouth, large teeth, fat body and goes around swearing at passers-by?

A: Hippopottymouth

[–] numbermess@fedia.io 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So this cowboy puppy comes in here and says: I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

While I like this one. Unfortunately, I suspect it will get a blank, confused look. We've managed to almost completely avoid guns etc.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wanna hear my favorite knock knock joke? Great!

You start...

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] 667@lemmy.radio 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Balthazar@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Oh! Sorry, I wasn't expecting you.

[–] Teddy@programming.dev 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Has she discovered the use of puns yet? I would recommend those cheesy dad-joke books and the joke pages from copies of Reader's Digest.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

She's discovered the concept, along with jokes, she doesn't quite "get" them yet. She gets the basic idea, but not the subtleties that make them work. The results are cute, but horrifically bad.

Have you done banana banana banana orange yet? Can be retold many ways by kids who didn't quite get the pun, like "grape you glad I'm not a banana." Hilarious every time, when you're the 5 year old.

[–] solrize@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

How about elephant jokes? There are so many of those.

[–] TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Do they not sell kids joke books in the check out line at the grocery store anymore? Used to be tons of those.

[–] python@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago

I feel like a rambly long-form joke like this could really land: https://youtu.be/AXtNUgEWgQI

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