TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

When discussing marriage with my girlfriend (now wife), she mentioned not wanting to change her name. I told her this wasn't acceptable - I expected her to change her name. But she repeated not wanting to change her last name. I told her she misunderstood, I didn't want her to change her last name, I wanted her to change her first name to "groupofcrows property", she can keep her last name. She did not accept this. (Yes this was a real conversation, yes we have been married for 7 years, no she did not change her name)

The time I got married, I asked my wife not to change her last name because the women in my family don't. (Even if they did, I think I would still find it off-putting. It's my last name. You have your own last name.) She insisted on changing it regardless of what I wanted, and that was the "red flag"...

The joke is on her. She had to go through the trouble of changing it back after the divorce :)

The only thing is that it's annoying when you get kids.

Do they take both names? If so, you are just pushing the issue of choosing to your kids. At some point someone needs to drop some fucking names.

Asking with curiosity and respect, for those in the "keeping my name" camp -

You were given your name by your parents, and most often the surname is the father's surname.

Most of you adopt nicknames or pet names which change over time (what your family calls you vs your friends vs your colleagues)

Why is it a really big deal to you? Is it being asked / expected to change your name by a societal norm / being told what to do? Or the effort involved in changing it?

Source - male, changed my surname when I moved internationally, married, and wife's family expected her to change her name to mine because we were starting a new family and that would be the family name.

I didn't give a shit because my surname isn't my family name, it's one of my middle names, so it seemed arbitrary, and said so to both her and them.

Wife decided she would change her name and our kid has that name too. It was an absolute pain in the ass to do for her because she's lived here for much longer than me so had more things to change, so I understand not wanting to deal with that. But years down the track - everyone seems happy - reading through these comments tho many of you view this as wrong??

I just see it as a hassle. Like why even bother? She would have to explain why she wants to take my name and I would try talking her out of it "What if we get a divorce in 7 years or so? Do you just have to change it back then?" I'm sure that would go over well

Do you think Matt brain would blue screen if I told him I took my wife's last name?

gonna take a while... he looks like he hasn't gotten around to evolve into the homo habilis yet.

How did he do that thing where I heard "evolve" spoken aloud by him?

I thought twitter was text only?

I only recently found out he was Brunt as well as Weyoun. And had no idea about the others. (I still haven't gotten around to Enterprise.) What a talented guy!

Everyone has funny or unique stories about last names... Some people change their names for love, others keep them for work, and some even mix them up for fun. It’s like having many characters in one story, just like Jeffrey Combs does in acting—each name choice has its special vibe