Please take care of yourself. We seriously appreciate you and everything you've done, same goes for all other staff. This past week has immensely stressful across the lemmyverse and no one blames you at all for needing to tap out from all this. A lot of people are expecting lemmy and lemmy instances to be like reddit 2.0, but that's just not humanly possible. It also feels like lemmy as a software has had it personally out for beehaw... kind of like a murphy's law situation.
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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Take time for yourself! You guys deserve it. You've had a lot on your plate that you didn't expect.
Gotta take care of yourself first, nobody is going to begrudge you of that. I know exactly how you feel, I've been through the same thing before ... like they say, don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
You've got a good group of volunteers, they're taking care of things, don't come back until you feel completely ready!
I've been in that exact same spot, running a community and experiencing that kind of burnout. Where something you enjoyed managing just felt draining and like work, when talking about it was a dreaded thing.
And really, taking a break is a good thing. Don't actively push yourself if you don't enjoy it right now, it will only hurt you in the long run. But I will say this, I realized all too quickly that when my motivation came back after my breaks, the burst of energy was short-lived before I was reminded why I burned out in the first place. After 2-3 times of that cycle repeating, the burst of energy never came again.
To give a piece of unwanted advice, I think you guys might be stretching yourselves too thin. You've got a considerably sized site at this point, and not many hands to run it. I can't speak for exactly what sort of help would alleviate it for you, maybe creating a barrier of a few community-level mods to help take on some of the bulk to leave the site admins with the sitewide issues. Maybe you could even look into getting another admin or two, if most of the issues are site-wide.
But I believe I can say without a doubt that the circumstances around the burnout will probably need to change before the joy of it is gone altogether.
I wish you guys the best.
To give a piece of unwanted advice, I think you guys might be stretching yourselves too thin. You’ve got a considerably sized site at this point, and not many hands to run it. I can’t speak for exactly what sort of help would alleviate it for you, maybe creating a barrier of a few community-level mods to help take on some of the bulk to leave the site admins with the sitewide issues. Maybe you could even look into getting another admin or two, if most of the issues are site-wide.
we are talking stuff like this over but i didn't put it in the post; more on that TBD
I actually think the best solution for a space like Beehaw is to just turn off the creation of new accounts for the time being. The point of this instance isn't to be the biggest, it's to be a high quality space. People will still be able to interact with Beehaw from the outside too.
you've been an absolutely wonderful admin. please take all the time you need and come back when you're ready, if you're ready; don't come back too soon and burn out again. take care!
Mental health is extremely important and often overlooked.
Thank you for everything you've done to date.
Take your time and we'll all be here when you're ready ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Good job at identifying that you need rest. I historicallly have been so bad at that.
Please go away (gently) and don't think about us. Nothing that happens here is more important than your health.
alyaza (not tagging with the @ symbol as I don't want this to just become another notification in your inbox pestering you), you have been a true delight thus far in my time interacting with you. Spend as much time away as you need. This instance has a truly excellent administration team, and will be able to take care of beehaw.org for as long as you need to be away. If they can't, I'm sure there will be people willing to respond to a call to action for more people. Beehaw.org will be okay without you. And don't try to rush yourself back just because you feel like a couple of weeks should be enough time. I know what it feels like to think you should be able to expect yourself in some specified time window to come back and then when you do you realize it wasn't enough time. Instead of timeboxing your recovery time, I recommend picking some project that you really want to focus on and returning once that's done. Maybe it's drawing something, perhaps it's writing a short story, possibly it's hiking one of the triple crown trails in the United States. But let yourself focus on that thing and see how you feel after that project is done.
Anyway.
The point is.
Be good to yourself. Treat yourself with the same empathy you extend to others. You are valuable and worthy of love.
Please take good care of yourself alyaza. Do what YOU need to do for YOU
Just wanted to thank you and everyone else making beehaw the wonderful, genuine and welcoming community that it is!!
What a refreshing world to be able to taklk to one another without the bots and feel of those 'other' places.
Much love you, and, really, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU!!
Get some rest! Hopefully when you come back the mental load is lighter and things work out, but at the end of the day, none of this is more important than your health and well-being.
Hey, don't know if you'll see this but thank you for all the work you've been putting into making sure this platform is not on fire :)
In my own life regarding similar conflict of needs and responsibilities, I've often found it useful to just decide what amount of time I'm comfortable commiting to a thing such that I still enjoy doing it and it doesn't ruin the rest of the things I want to do in my life, and stick to that hard time limit, come hell or high water. This might not suit you or might not help in this situation, but hopefully it helps a little.
Internet hugs to you. Thank you for your work. Take all the time you need, and then some.🐝❤
Take care alyaza! 🫂
For the short time that I have been here, your comments have been some of the most engaging and insightful that I have seen.
I'll claim responsibility for some of the headaches that you and other admins may have had (whether or not that is actually the case) and for that I am sorry.
I hope you get the opportunity to do whatever it is you need to do to get rid of what has been troubling you.
Thank you for this space you have helped create. You deserve to exist in it as well, not just operate it. I appreciate your work very much but you are always more important than any work, so please take care of yourself. Wishing you well
Breaks are good, I hope you find peace and refreshment off site. I enjoy reading your posts so I hope at some point you are able to return, but I also can understand if it turns out to be too overwhelming in the end. Thanks for all the work you have done.
Really sorry to read this. Thank you and kudos for being able to communicate like you did.
I hope you manage to take your time and take care of yourself. From my burnout experience, I can say it's likely we usually underestimate (by a lot) the amount of time and distance we need before coming back.
Please don't feel you have to come back next week because you said so, and don't feel like you owe us anything in terms of communication / visibility - it matters so much less important than giving yourself the healing space and time you need.
I also hope the admin team finds ways to protect themselves.
I've stuck around, and even a month ago I could see that the growth of Beehaw would be a major source of stress as much as it is an exciting success.
Please. Take a break. Go out and do what you brings you joy. Beehaw will still be around whenever you're ready to come back to it. You have done loads to make this site what it is.
Sending you lots of love and relaxation vibes. Enjoy your vacation and stop reading my message! 🤣❤
Take your time and relax as long as you need.
I've not been here long, but your comments have always been a joy to read. I'm a software engineer myself so I understand the burnout of having to manage all the things all the time. I'm thankful for all that you've done for the community, and hope you can come back and enjoy it once again whenever you're ready.
I commented on your chat thread the other day about getting over burnout myself, so I entirely get how quickly things add up and what that can do to you in addition to the context of daily life that keeps happening as well. You absolutely deserve a break and to just enjoy this thing that you have made massive contributions to on only your own terms for as long as you need. You are a huge part of why I am so enthusiastic about this instance because I identify with your passion for this project. I know how it can look when literally all you are interacting with on a daily basis are the problems (because that's my job in my career as well), but please know that from the user side this is an incredibly well run and respectful space. Your efforts in setting the tone at critical times is a big part of what we can enjoy now. You have accomplished major and important things here already, and you deserve all the time you need for yourself.
Thanks for the transparency. You're a great admin!
Well from the first day I joined it's been evident how much work you do.
Do whatever you need to do, you're much appreciated here. :)
Will you make me an admin? I have several qualifications such as open PMs and being the first person to reply here.
you have a history of good comments on here and that's saving you from what would otherwise probably be a permaban. please learn what comedic timing is, man, this is neither funny nor the time nor the place.
Respectfully, I just don't think this is the right post for this kind of humor.
No.
You've done awesome with this instance. It's great to hear you're taking a break and paying attention to burnout - it's not all on you, so take the time you need to center yourself and get your mojo back. We'll be waiting, but not in the creepy or stressful way hopefully ^^
We need to pay our mods! I saw you all make a significant amount per month as an instance from donations, let’s make it go up! maybe you should put a $1/month minimum on the instance for users? This is what will make lemmy better than reddit for sure.
I don't like that, it has a huge impact on who can and can't be here. Obviously most working adults can afford a few bucks here and there, but if you are trying to be inclusive removing any kind of monetary barrier is really important. Those on fixed income, minors, and from countries with extremely low wages would have to think twice about chipping in or may not have the means to actually do so even if they had the cash in hand.
I think it's very important that Beehaw remains free to use. Though I wouldn't mind if they nagged users a little for donations when needed.
Edit: to be clearer I'm for paying the people who run Beehaw if/when feasible but a mandatory fee is anathema to the purpose of this instance.
I agree with you that a mandatory money barrier would split this community in an unnecessary way. Maybe setting up a patreon account for Beehaw would be a solution? Only those who can and want to afford a monthly payment would participate, but it would create a bit of financial planning stability, contrary to individual one-time donations.
Beehaw already has an Open Collective set up, it works in a similar way to Patreon. you can find it in the sidebar of the home page.
Oh, I wasn't aware of that. Thanks for the heads up, please ignore my previous comment then. :D
It just seems like the work for the mods is perportional to the user count. I can see maybe making exceptions to the membership fee for certain classes, just mention it in your application. Just a thought
Hey take however much time you need, relax properly and remember that your hard work has not gone unnoticed. You are probably one of the best admins i have seen on social media, ever. You are amazing and deserve some rest!
It's great that you've recognised the burnout and are taking steps to look after yourself. You've done a great job on here, as can be seen by the community that's sprung up here.
Take all the time you need
It sounds like you need more moderators. Think about it.
Hugs. Try to be gentle with yourself. <3
all while having hundreds of people make contradictory suggestions to me i have to make sense of, balance, and generally hear nonstop while being expected to act like a service worker
I believe you have already touched on this in previous PSAs but it's important that everyone here holds Beehaw to a different standard to, say, the traditional social media we have gotten used to over the last decade.
I hold platforms like Twitter to a higher standard because they have hundreds of people who they are paying to run the website, are actively making a profit from it, and it is centralised. I am a lot more vocal about the criticisms I have about the way that site is being run.
However, with Beehaw, it just is not the same. Ultimately it is run by people like you: volunteers, where really this "job" for you needs to be fun first and foremost if this is work you're doing in your spare time, otherwise we would not have Beehaw at all.
In that sense, I am happy for you to run Beehaw exactly as you see fit and for you to completely ignore any suggestions that are made to you. Hence, I suppose I've tried and will continue to try to not to add to the avalanche you describe in your post. Ultimately, I see myself as someone who is tagging along for the ride you are steering.
If it gets to a point where I am no longer comfortable here, or it gets to a point where I am no longer welcome here and I am banned, then so be it. I will move elsewhere on Lemmy. And this is the beauty of decentralisation and the Fediverse and, hopefully, with time, as the technology matures, we will have ever more instances for people to find spaces which suit them rather than hoping to force the admins of existing instances to bend to their will because of a lack of alternative options.
Anyway this is a long way of saying that I think you're doing a great job and I hope with time the issues you are facing which are affecting your motivation are alleviated.
Given the recent events as well as the general surge of new users joining Beehaw and the wider lemmyverse in general...I don't blame you.
Take as much time as you need to take care of yourself and recharge yourself. Self-care is important.
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