I legitimately don't understand how a man can be blind to this kind of treatment of women. Don't you just need to look at any treatment of women online for more than a nanosecond and you'll see this?
this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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My hypothesis is it's two major parts:
- Protect one's ego at all costs. Anything that makes you feel bad, at all, is to be rejected.
- Join in-groups that do not value or respect women.
For most people, belief is more social than we'd like to admit. So if your in-groups are a bunch of jerks who think women "talk too much" or whatever, you'll probably adopt that. It'll be continually reinforced from your socializing. Then with point #1, any time contrary evidence that does manage to break through you'll reject it rather than doing any hard work or introspection.
Can you explain point 1 more? How do negative experiences online for women damage men's egos?
I am by no means an expert on this.
But just spitballing, let's imagine the victim (often but not always a woman) says something generalized like "Men are assholes online." The man hears this, and since they are a man, and since men were just called assholes, they feel like they were called an asshole. That hurts the sense of self, the ego, to accept.
I think it's the group identity thing, really? Like, the group they're a part of was insulted, so they feel personally insulted. Accepting that the group isn't great is hard for the brain. They don't want to be part of a group that's bad (men online) because that hurts their sense of self, the ego.
I'm a guy, but I don't, like, care. Not in a gender-queer or trans way, but it's just not a big deal to me. Maybe that's why if someone's like "Men are trash" I can just shrug. But if someone was like "People in New York City are pretentious, rude, assholes" I'd probably have an emotional response. But patriarchy is a much bigger and more wide spread issue, so it's not really the same.
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Why? You should teach the same things to your son at the least for empathy , the most for prevension.
The way my mother "taught" me doesn't exactly leave me with a good impression of what women are about or why I should treat them any different from men.
We don't talk anymore, and I will never have kids.
Well that last part is good. If you'd stay out of the woods it'd be appreciated as well.
Wait wait wait, being abused to the point of mistrusting people so much you don't want to deal with them is now a good thing?
No, it's probably the misogyny
Right, the misogyny of a victim not wanting to interact with the group their victomiser came from. Just like the comic was dealing with, to bad this chain was started from a man cause fuck men I guess?
Ah. There it is.
one thing i've noticed, is that when you get into less moderated, harder to moderate, and less centralized services, particularly anti-censorship ones, you get a lot of shitty people congregating there. And the reason why is pretty simple, it's because you can. Some of it is probably just edgy shitposting, because, internet. Some of it is also just genuine, because again, the internet.
So you get this weird thing where it fractures heavily, into to small communal groups, that each do their own thing. But you have a broad group of outliers, who generally exist outside of this space also, which means that it tends to be rather hit and miss what you find.
This is one of the reasons i really like the darknet conceptually. Yes there may be racism there, but you know what else isn't there? Rules, and you know what that means? People can make their own however they please. Don't like it? Go away, simple as that.
The biggest mistake new moderators make is allowing bad actors to use the rules against them. You can't be too prescriptive, you can't give them ammo to go "well this doesn't technically violate any rule." And when they complain you have a "don't disrupt the community" rule and say it's "too vague" just tag them as potentially a problem and see what they do. In my experience, they inevitably deserve a ban.
Users may hate “moderator discretion” as a rule, but by fuck do users hate not having it as well
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I think this is a great place to ask this: What would be the problem, if we would ignore gender in all laws?
This should be a thought experiment, I don’t intend to attack anybody
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If you read this comic and the first thing you're concerned* about is how men feel, you're part of the problem.
I am baffled by how humanity has managed to survive this long when so many men suck so fucking much. Then, when I think of it further, large portions of it was probably due to the women having no fucking choice, exemplifying one of many important ways in which men suck.
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