this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2023
117 points (100.0% liked)

Books

10358 readers
13 users here now

Book reader community.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I used to be an avid reader, but years of high school and depression completely ruined that. I haven't been able to complete a novel since senior year six years ago. It's frustrating to me and I want to know how I can overcome my lack of focus and anxiety. I've heard I'm not alone when it comes to this sort of thing at least.

E: I wasn't expecting so many replies. Thank you, all of you, for the ideas.

top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Moonguide@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey there, I was right there with you about a year ago. Couple years ago I easily read through 50 books in a year, then right at the end of college I couldn't even begin one. After 3 years being out, I finally finished a couple books in less than half a year.

What helped is reading something easy and fun. Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy was it for me. Nowadays I'm doing therapy as well, which helps. I'm nowhere near as voracious a reader as I once was but I'm a different person than I was years ago, so that's fine.

[–] ghashul@feddit.dk 2 points 1 year ago

Hitchhiker's is great for this, and I'll also throw in Terry Pratchett's Discworld for easy reading that is also bloody marvellous.

[–] Ichebi 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ok I'm going with my experience here. I've been an avid reader of hundreds of books a year since I was a teen. When I had my baby, I wen through a traumatic birth that left me with post partum PTSD. When that happened I couldn't read anymore. What helped me get back into reading is audiobooks and comics/mangas. 5 years has passed, I'm now mostly recovered from the PTSD but I am not the reader I used to be, I can now read a book now and then, I sometimes read big fanfics because knowing the characters and tags help a lot but audiobooks are really my go to and I can listen a bit everyday. Well, nevertheless, don't feel bad for not reading, do whatever feels good to you.

[–] DamnOrangeCat@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

+1

Audiobooks really got me going again. Life got more busy, but I can always listen to audiobooks while on the car or during chores. Quality of audiobooks can vary a bit, and you might demand something more higher quality until you get into audiobooks more. Plus, I listen to them in english which is not my first language, so it's a really good listening exercise when the narrator has some bit of accent, I learn to recognize that accent later

[–] phazed09@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Start with a relatively short page turner. Force yourself to read for 10 minutes at a set time every day. I found that when I was in a bit of reading funk, I had to simply take it a day at a time with small, easily digestible chunks. Once you get the first one out of the way, it starts to feel a lot more natural to work your way through more.

[–] Lewistrick@feddit.nl 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was going to say the 10 minute thing, but in reverse, as in, it's ok if you only read 10 minutes, so then it doesn't become this huge task you have to do (which I believe people with depression can struggle with).

[–] phazed09@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Reading is a skill, and if you don't do it for a long while it can be hard to focus for long chunks of time. The 10 minute thing isn't a hard rule, just a target. But I do think at least for a while it helps to build up routine and focus as you get back into the swing of things.

[–] Lewistrick@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

Exactly :)

Also, once you've been reading for 10 minutes it's easier to just keep reading.

[–] golli@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Start with a relatively short page turner.

Definitely agree with this advice. Much better to start with something that you can see yourself finishing rather quickly, then starting a huge epic. So maybe something lighter, faster paced and possibly funny. Maybe in the range of 100-150 pages?

Another suggestion i'd make is to start with a book from your favorite genre. Doesn't have to be based on past books, but maybe also current tv shows or movies.

As an example for me that would be sci-fi. So in that case something like "All Systems Red" (first book in the murderbot series) could be fun. Or maybe a short story collection like "i, robot" or "Stories of Your Life and Others" that allows to read one story at a time. "World war Z" would also be an interesting mix of the two, since it has an overarching narrative but is structured in seperate story lines.

[–] bec@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

Have you tried setting a routine? Even if it's very little time at first, like ten minutes or ten pages, better yet if always at the same time, for example just before going to sleep, the important part is setting a routine and once that's done it comes naturally to keep at it!

Good luck!

[–] NetHandle@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The problem for me is that I'm always trying to read shit that is boring as fuck, for like self betterment or something. Like I try to read non-fiction history, or a textbook, or some award winning abstract cerebral literature shit. Y'know, to learn something or get a different perspective and generally be a better person.

My brain doesn't like that shit. My brain wants to read about emotionally repressed wizards shooting red lightning and werewolves that have too much sex. Way too much sex.

Maybe you have a similar problem as I do. You're trying to read based on what you think is logical to read. You only have so many hours in a day so you want your reading to have a purpose or a benefit, but the books you enjoy reading don't make you think or teach you a skill. They're emotional fluff, but they're what you actually enjoy reading. Does that sound like you? That's me in a nutshell. Logically at odds with what I enjoy.

If I want to actually get through that other boring crap I have to set a schedule, read like 3 pages a day and put it down. I have to stick to the schedule, like working out. It takes forever to get through a book. It works though.

[–] BunBunInTheSun@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Uh, I'd like to know more about these wizards and werewolves! Please, tell me more.

[–] Sunrosa@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

In my personal experience, when I do a lot of quickly rewarding things, the pace of my life speeds up. Drastically. It's something that takes weeks to recover from. For example, whenever I hit the road for a few months, away from my computer, using my phone for only a couple hours a day, I find this peace. It's not the sort of peace you feel when you're just chilling during the day. It's lasting peace, on a large scale. And I read a lot when I'm out there. But as soon as I return home, I return to my computer, and suddenly, life is full of opportunities for instant rewards (dopamine) again. And then I lose the patience for the slower and greater dopamine sources. It's like, why would I want to wait hours to receive a lot of dopamine, when I could just have a little bit now, and a little bit then, and a little bit later. It takes willpower. You need to take a step back from the daily rush, especially involving your phone and social media, and YouTube and stuff.

It will require willpower, because the change will not be instant. Going outside and basking in the breeze is one of the easiest ways for me to just slooow down. Try meditation too. Just sit there, thinking of nothing (or if you have to, think about your breathing, or even think about thinking about nothing), and feel your body relax. You do not need to be doing things all day every day. Boredom can even be your friend. Learning to become one with nothingness is how you're going to start reading again. Be patient, and commit to things without expecting instant gratification.

[–] xuxebiko@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

tldr; stopped forcing myself to read + cut social media habit + cheated

I used to be a voracious reader too, then clinical depression hit, followed by anxiety and my reading habit dropped. I'd still buy books intending to read them, and they'd just go unread. I'd see my increasing pile of interesting yet unread books grow larger and that'd stress me out more while making me feel like a failure. Which would just depress me even more. It was quite a cycle.

Therapy helped me realize some patterns..

I realized that whenever i tried to force/ guilt myself into doing anything, I just ended up resenting myself which sent me into a self-hating depressive cycle. So I gave myself permission to not read if I didn't feel like it. It removed all pressure, guilt, resentment, and any negative emotion I had towards myself for not doing something that I thought I should be doing. Which also boosted my mental health.

I realized that my social media habit interfered with my reading as it lowered my attention span. Plus seeing the world going to hell in a handbasket worsens my anxiety and depression. So I broke that habit. The only way I could do it was by forcing myself to go offline. Took a few tries to get it right but I realized that I naturally gravitated to books when I didn't have social media to go to. I now have monthly SM detoxes where I avoid SM for an entire week, which has also helped my mental health.

One other pattern I recognised was any stressful event in a book (even fictional) would stress me out and make me too anxious to read anything, which is a bummer since I love murder mysteries and non-fiction. I also realized that when I knew how the book ended, I could it read it with negligible anxiety. So that's what I do, even though it feels like I'm cheating. I read the first few pages and when/ if I start stressing out, I read the last chapter, put the book down and go for a walk/ do some outdoor activity. Invariably I end up grabbing the book and reading it cover to cover while enjoying it, which imho is the most important part.

A good friend restored his reading habit by making his exercise & diet cheat day as his book day. By associating pleasure (via lazing, chocolates, & whisky) with books, he rediscovered his joy of reading.

Go with whatever works for you.

This is such a good idea. I’m stuck on a couple of books that I just can’t seem to finish because I have to put them down when they get too grim or anxiety-producing. Reading the end would either ease the anxiety or let me know I don’t want to finish them.

[–] Knoll0114@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Old favourites sometimes help me get back in. It doesn't take as much mental effort as something new and you already know you like it.

[–] ekZeno@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Audiobooks are a nice middle ground if you are too busy. If you have time to read some books then i would suggest you to avoid any app from the phone. Literally turn off you phone/tab and find yourself some nice, quiet place where you can read your book. Read it slowly at first and choose something you are really interested in and possibly not too " heavy" to digest. Some anthologies of short stories would do great.

[–] Spacebar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Have you tried audio books?

[–] AskThinkingTim@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

You most likely don’t have as much free time on your hands. That is a major reason for this. You can start with smaller books of interest to get the feeling of completion.

[–] 73kk13@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I had a similiar issue (IMO due to the short and diverting nature of social media).

I decided to read a little bit every evening. In the beginning I skipped a lot of evenings, did a lot of book hopping and, never finished a book either. I also struggled with reading a longer time at a stretch or even whole chapters. But eventually I got better.

In my case I had to learn again to immerse myself in something that doesn't reward me after five seconds, but after 15 minutes or longer.

[–] TimesEcho@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I've discovered that my brain will only accept certain content certain ways. If I'm really into a fun book, then text is perfect. If it's any kind of "literature" or non-fiction, I need to listen to it at the fastest setting my brain can absorb (usually 2x speed) while doing things that would otherwise not be fun (unloading the dishwasher, cleaning, doing laundry, whatever). And I pay attention to my emotional reactions to stuff. If something is too heavy to be fun (or to handle in general), I don't make myself go back to it. I evaluate whether I want to continue. I have more than 1,000 books on my Libby wishlist, so I feel no guilt about moving on to the next thing.

[–] WittiePenguin@geekdom.social 2 points 1 year ago

@AceLucario i joined a reading challenge in my local library

[–] emma@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I get stuck because of physical health reasons. My three things I try to kickstart it again are:

  1. dark mode on my tablet, can make a huge difference for me
  2. reading free page turner crap I get from the online ebook store (in dark mode of course)
  3. reading novels I already know the general plot of

The built in reader on my tablet keeps track of time read. It's set at five minutes, so I try to at least get to that target with the free page turner crap.

Reading fluff for five minutes is easier than taking on something substantial. And if it doesn't happen on that day, that's ok, I can always try again later.

This is what works for me. There will be something which works for you, so try and keep trying until you find it. If something doesn't work for you, that's ok. You'll find one that does.

(Have you tried short stories? Easier to complete than a novel.)

[–] Linnce@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm surprised to see this happen to so many people. I too read a lot in high school and after college I just couldn't even start a book.

What helped me was reading something really easy that I used to like back when I was younger, like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter, just one or two chapters a day. Sometimes I waste the entire day just reading now.

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

I think what kept me off was mainly reading tech documentation or programming (e)books throughout the day. I don't really want to see more books when I'm trying to chill out.

But the easy and palatable suggestion is a good one. There's no shame reading books written for kids or young adults no matter how old you are. Heck, I bought a book for little kids with lots of beautiful drawn pictures for me some years ago. The wombat and his quest for carrots is a lovely story and I'm not ashamed to admit.

[–] 73kk13@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago

No wasting here IMO ;-)

[–] nemvid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I run into this in periods due to working too much and just not having the energy. The key for me is to give up on any intellectual ambitions for a while, and just go for something that’s quick and easy to read.

After I’ve started reading regularly again, I can then ramp up the difficulty until I suddenly reach that stage again where I feel like “it’s weird how I just don’t read anymore”, and I have to start over.

[–] detwaft@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

It takes me about a week of holiday before I can read. No work stress, and less obsession with the continual dopamine hits of smart phones, eventually lets my brain relax enough to pick up a book.

Every time I come back from holidays I tell myself I should keep reading. I never have kept it up though..

[–] CyanPurple@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Find a book that makes you want to turn the page because you "absolutely want to know what happens next". Don't think too much about the act of reading itself because it'll make you more anxious. Do it because it's fun for you

[–] leraje@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Short stories is the answer. They do seem to mainly the province of horror and sci-fi but even if that's not a favoured genre(s) it's a way back in. Try Night Shift or Skeleton Crew by Stephen King (give The Mist a miss though, it's not really a 'short' short story). Take it a page at a time, stop reading the minute you start to lose interest, try again 15mins later. Remember it's fun activity not a competitive sport, take all the time you need, the books you want to read are going nowhere :)

[–] onjen@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago

I recommend to start small and build a habit for reading. For example start with 10 minutes every evening in the bed before sleeping and then gradually increase the time. There is an awesome book describing the power of habits. https://www.samuelthomasdavies.com/book-summaries/self-help/atomic-habits/

[–] NormalTownLeader@mander.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

While I can't speak to the mental health mentioned in this post, I used to read all the time, but by the time high school years hit that dwindled and I could barely read a chapter without wanting to do something else. I think that social media really took a toll on my attention span (though I can't prove that).

What helped me was making a book club with some friends of mine! When I had a deadline in place where if I didn't finish chapters at a set time (otherwise I wouldn't be able to properly have a conversation about it with them) that really helped motivate me. This also had the added benefit of exposing me to books I wouldn't normally read (this is how I was introduced to House of Leaves). I still don't dive deep into a book as easily as I used to, but it has been improving and like anything else just generally comes with practice.

[–] Jinx_Rekker@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

I went through a long period of not reading any books, not because of anxiety, though. Try reading with something quiet going on in the background, like a white noise machine, a piece of instrumental music (any genre but something calm and not focus pulling), or a sound effects website that offers various types of soundscapes you can test like this one: https://mynoise.net. I found a few soundscapes I liked and usually have one of them running in the background. I find that it relaxes me and makes it easier for me to concentrate and stay focussed on the book I'm reading.

[–] szczur@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

In the name of Krolm, Giant Rat God, I'd love to read a book, but I just can't find a time for that. Audiobooks are also an option, but it's hard to focus on important matters and listen to a book at the same time.

Help.

[–] underscores@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

Try reading something in a different format, like comic books, short stories, web serials, or audiobooks. Once you've gotten in habit of reading again it shouldn't be too hard to switch back to regular novels. Maybe try out different genres, or revisit some of your favorite stories. And don't be afraid to switch to another book if you find yourself not reading your current one. You can always come back to it later.

[–] Glaive0@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

This was sort of me. I couldn’t use my eyes to read a book after college. Something about college took that from me. Maybe that’s when I really dove into social media, maybe I never had quiet space to just read. Either way, undiagnosed adhd and some degree of dyslexia went a ways towards breaking my looong time visual reading habit.

But, I never stopped reading audiobooks. Almost a decade out and I’m still recovering my visual reading, but I downed 13 books and novellas this month via audiobook. (And finally finished an ebook I started in February!) Reading is now an inevitability rather than a goal.

I read almost exclusively sci-fi and fantasy, but slip in non-fiction or classic fiction every so often.

So, for me, it’s read what you like and read how you like.

Side note: books that I really want to ready that aren’t at my library as audiobooks are the sole driver of me getting back into visual reading. Being audio-only locked me out of a LOT of books that I really want to read. So, unless that matches you, I have no idea how to reincentivize visual reading other than that.

[–] Valbrandur@lemmygrad.ml 0 points 1 year ago

You are getting a lot of advice on which books to read and strategies on how to read them, but one thing that I feel is often very overlooked, despite how important it is, is to search a proper ambient for a reading session.

Get yourself a comfy seat and a nice light. Turn off your phone's notifications (except for calls and other important matters) and put your phone away, same with your computer. You can have soft background music (no lyrics, of course) if that is your cup of tea, just make it so you cannot see the screen. Get a cup of coffee or tea if you like that, and put an alarm on your clock: until the alarm sounds, there are no obligations or anything else for you to do other than reading at your own pace.

load more comments
view more: next ›