this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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I've been happily posting away here on two accounts since just before the Great Migration, and have no problem being openly a woman on the internet. Up to and including correcting people who assume I'm a guy, and even occasionally acknowledging the existence of periods.

Which, honestly that was a bad tactic back on Reddit, my inbox was a nightmare. But here it's gone much better, so thank you to anyone who ever received one of my corrections with good grace!

It's also brought quite a few DMs my way from other women who try to stay more anonymous with their posts, a choice I can completely understand.

So today on International Women's Day I just want to wave hello to the other women out there, even if you don't want to break cover and wave back. Anonymous or not, cis or trans, I see you out there and you're killing it.

This may break the community rule on encouraging discussion, if nobody wants to out themselves to say hello back. So I guess I should also ask a question.

Um...anyone else using it as an excuse to treat themselves today? I've given myself the day (mostly) off work and am doing some fun gamedev all afternoon instead, then we're planning a takeaway tonight. Easily pleased, perhaps, but sounds good to me πŸ˜„

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[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 2 points 6 months ago

There are dozens of us! But seriously I've been so happy to be a lady on here and have good conversations with damn near everyone. As for treating myself, I am looking forward to my husband cooking us a nice dinner this weekend.

[–] skvlp@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago

Cheers to the women of the fediverse, and the world, on your day. Glad to have you around :)

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Happy International Women's Day, everyone!

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Thanks, definitely genuinely esteemed Academy Award nominated (but not this year) character actress Margot Robbie!

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's definitely genuine esteemed Academy Award nominated (but not this year) character actress Margot Robbie to you!

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My sincerest apologies, I've edited to be more respectful.

[–] verenor@lemmy.tf 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Apparrently I am so over social media that I had to debate if I answer or not because - for all I know - you could also be a dude trying to lure girls out of their defenses for whatever reason.

But here I am, waving back my fellow female!

International womens day or not: Stand tall, be proud and hiiii!

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

That is very true and for a moment I debated taking a selfie holding up a message, AMA-style. But ultimately I was too lazy so I guess we'll never know for sure πŸ˜‰

[–] dabu@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I don't want to invoke any negative memories but my curiosity is unsatisfied - what the hell do these guys PMed you about? We're all anonymous on Lemmy and Reddit, nobody knows how we look or where are we from and yet publicly stating your own gender is enough to open the floodgates. It is baffling to me. Don't feel obliged to answer of course if that's a problem.

Going back to the topic - hello! I used today's running routine excuse to treat myself with some sweet snacks. Unfortunately I didn't pick the best ones so I'm left unsatisfied and with a thought that I exceeded my limit. Next time I guess.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I remember being a male teenager long time ago and the brain just screams about sex all the time.

That's probably why some of the less evolved men out there starts pm-ing any lady they see.

Just getting a response is of some value appearently.

Then you get older and realize girls are evil so they lose their attraction. Lol. Mostly kidding.

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Lol. Mostly kidding.

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hello! May I ask what/what type of game your working on? All of your posts are about knitting so I really couldn't guess (if you're not making a game about knitting), but it's always fun to hear.

  • not a woman, just a random teen

Also, congratulations on international women's day πŸ˜€

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Hah, yeah I run two accounts on most things to keep my feeds more on-theme. This is the craft account, as you have noticed!

This is also me, I'm mainly making a minimalist city builder thing. Or trying to, anyway. But today I'm just working on a silly little minigame that is in fact about protecting yarn from moths!

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Welcome to the Fediverse!

Indeed, people are quite a bit more welcoming here than Reddit - ofc not everywhere, but more so, on average. If it helps, you can block not only individual users communities, but even whole entire instances - the latter by going into your profile, scrolling way down, and adding the instance name to that list. Do what you want, but for me, when TENS of people continue to spam-reply me WEEKS after I STOP responding, that's the signal that they are refusing to control themselves, so I take matters into my own hands and block them. For that reason I blocked hexbear and lemmygrad.ml, and some people block lemmy.ml too but I do enjoy their memes and such and just stay out of their politics community so I have not gone that far for that one. If this describes you, note that this can improve your experience in the Fediverse by perhaps 90% so may be WORTH IT. People from those instances can still reply to your posts and comments, but you will not receive notifications anymore, nor see them while you are logged in:-).

One thing more I wanted to make sure that you and your friends know: DMs are not private. I don't know of any actual tools that makes reading someone's DMs possible, but the signals are out there and not only admins but anyone could, in theory. Probably that won't matter 99% of the time but e.g. sending physical addresses or phone numbers would be easy to scan for across the Fediverse by malicious actors.

Anyway, I hope you feel welcomed! (fwiw, I am not a woman, I just wanted to share these thoughts in case they would be helpful:-)

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thanks although, as I said, been here quite a while now. Still it's good advice for anyone newer who might be reading this, especially the part about the DMs!

My block list is surprisingly short, so far, although let's see if making such a statement in public ends up changing that fact πŸ˜‰

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Posts about how good Lemmy is for women on International Women's Day

Immediately gets Lemmy mansplained to her

Lmao

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Given the casual nature of the community, I thought I'd let it slide this time lol

[–] jadedwench@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

You are completely right. I got so used to Reddit being thousands of misogynistic, vile, ridiculous comments at every turn, yet in haven't even thought about it until now. I haven't seen a lot of that here. I haven't been harassed at all or terrified to make a comment in fear of the hive mind making me wish I hadn't been born. Thank you lemmings for being better humans.

I wish I had the time today, but they made breakfast and lunch for all of the women in the office and had some fancy chat thing.

Happy Women's Day. Go to the spa. Take a long bath. Demand massages and cuddles. Something.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Hello back. I hope you're having a good day. I am even though I'm not doing anything special to celebrate my womanness, just living regular life.

[–] stelelor@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Hello and hey. I don't usually think of myself as "a woman on the internet" because I've basically grown up with it. I don't make any particular efforts to advertise it but I'm not against casually mentioning it. I've never had a bad experience on Reddit due to my gender, likely because I gravitated towards niche subs where gender was irrelevant to the discussion anyway.

International Women's Day was widely celebrated in my native country, but much less so where I now live. I don't really mind, because I don't like the whole politically-correct celebrations that feel hollow and forced ("You're a woman so, uh, here are some flowers! Women like flowers, right? Right???") anyway I had a great day at work with my favorite team, then a nice evening at home with some D&D. I just wish I had time to walk my dog - that's one of my goals for tomorrow.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I never felt weird posting to Reddit that I was a woman, and never got any weird dms or anything.. no clue why, just luck I suppose. Or could have to do with where/how I shared that info.. either way I was openly asexually female for the entire 5 years I had an actual account. Worst that happened was a bit of banter with a user about whether or not boobs float (something I honestly don’t know); they told me to go check and report back and I said their man boobs would be more likely than mine to float since I’m thin and not well endowed.

But I’ve been more vocal about it here because Lemmy is an absolute sausage party, and it’s so so so so obvious. It hasn’t been weird here at all either, but there also aren’t a lot of conversations in which I feel it necessary to divulge (probably because it’s a sausage party, so those sorts of conversations don’t happen as much)

I wasn’t using that as a treat myself excuse, but I’m shopping for a fancy new bed frame (with headboard storage, power strip, lights, and drawers underneath to keep my cats out) and it was gunna be a birthday gift to myself, but now it’s a women’s day/birthday gift 🀭

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

You definitely dodged some weirdos over there, well done!

I think from conversations I've had, a lot of women had such bad experiences on Reddit they decided to go anonymous on here and I wonder if that's actually why it seems like such a "sausage party" in the first place πŸ€”

Oh well, mostly irrelevant really, as you say it's not like it constantly comes up! Happy birthday and congrats on that fancy new frame, it sounds awesome!

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 1 points 6 months ago

Heyo! I had no idea it was International Women's Day until my trainer told me this morning. My husband just left for a weekend trip so it's just me and the doggo tonight. I'm going to make a marsala and probably watch a bunch of Doctor Who.

Happy International Women's Day!

Belated happy international women's day! Here's to more open and equitable internet forums :)

[–] shadowSprite@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Happy International Women's Day, from a fellow woman on the internet. I honestly didn't even realize that was today, my life has been a complete mess lately. I'm sorry you've gotten gross messages online, I like to joke that I'm so unattractive and unlovable that even online no one bothers me πŸ˜‚

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I spent most of this morning thinking it was still Wednesday so right there with you πŸ˜…

May your weekend be relaxing, and your inbox remain creep-free!

[–] shadowSprite@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Back at you!

In reference to your user name, what do you stitch?

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Oh that's a can of worms. deep breath

Currently cross stitching Errol from Discworld, a steampunk style world map, and a design of my own based on one of this year's Eurovision entries.

Currently knitting a pair of socks in ridiculous multicoloured yarn, and a poncho-style lacy shawl that will probably take a year (but it needs to be done by July πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ).

Currently not crocheting or sewing anything but that will no doubt be rectified soon! And then of course there's all the things that have been put into hibernation that I'll hopefully get round to finishing one day eventually maybe...

There's a decent craft community on Fedi if you happen to be into any of these things!

[–] Nikki@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hello! See there are loads of us here really :D

[–] Nikki@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

yeah! i figure that a lot of women online stay anonymous because of how creepy guys can be

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

HELLO!!!

Oh wait… I’m a man. Sorry.

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Me with a wig and a purse

Hello fellow women