Ask Lemmy

Pissed that I was in a abrahamic universe, but excited to rub it the faces of people who thought they were special and the only ones getting in.

I'm offended that I'm there.

I don't want an afterlife.

He had better be there right next to a mountain of pineapples because my heaven will be seeing how many pineapples will fit inside his ass. I suspect it's ot least one more than you'd think!

You have to acknowledge that he did and accept him into your heart, and go to church, and condem everyone who thinks differently than you, then you can go to heaven!

Do you get to be offended in heaven? What is life in heaven?

By many accounts you just live in some god’s drugged out bliss or in the deity’s service. Unless it’s Valhalla, you get to have some fights and party a lot, then do it again tomorrow. Heaven? Don’t do anything, don’t advance, create, learn, eat, sleep, or exist in any form that touches on your earthly desires, wants, or needs. Heck, do you even have a body? If you are on some kind of other planet of existence, do you even recognize your former corporeal self and what you went through? Mind you this is for “eternity”, whatever that constitutes. Maybe you’re now an interdimensional alien! Oh, don’t bother quoting what anyone thinks or says about “heaven”, last I checked only one person allegedly has come back briefly and didn’t really fill in the blanks too well. It’s all made up BS.

So hypothetically? No, you don’t get to be offended. I don’t think you get to be human or retain your humanity. You’re stripped of self in heaven to be hooked up to god’s Matrix of Bliss™️ until the end of time.

Kinda sounds hellish by my standards.

That really depends on if he’s acting all hitlery. If him and other Nazis are lovingly chatting with Jewish folks it’s cool. If he’s trying to get them kicked out of heaven I’m about to break my fist on his face

I'd probably be laughing too hard at realizing he went up and saw all his victims there and the sheer wtf on everyone's faces at the time

I was hoping to go to Mictlan. I have to be extant for eternity, that's Hell.

Didn't Jesus die in like year 0 wiping off sins in the BC years and maybe a few days more when he came back and died again, but Hitler committed his sins in the 20th century so definitely post the sin big wipe?

Dude, I don't want to go to heaven

Well, first off, I'd be enormously surprised to experience any sort of afterlife at all. Beyond that though, I think I'd be even more surprised if it was anything more than coincidentally similar to the Christian conception. So if, for instance, Hitler was there, I expect that I'd just file that away as an interesting detail about whatever this existence was in which I'd found myself. And I would presume that the extent of my emotional response would be some amusement at the fact that all of the sanctimonious Bible thumpers got it wrong.

No

Anything will become hell if it goes on long enough. And eternity is pretty long; so the more, the merrier.

Not really, my only information came from sleazy or delusional humans, not anything divine.

On the one hand, as a pagan I'd be annoyed not to be in Valhalla.

On the other, I get to hit Hitler with an axe for eternity, which is close enough.

I’d be too busy being surprised that Heaven actually existed, and that I made the cut.

Does he still have his mustache?