No Stupid Questions

Sounds like misophonia.

My sister has it too, her misophonia makes her dramatically more sensitive to any higher pitched sounds. And her borderline personality disorder combines to translate that annoyance directly into anger. She can still hang out with kids if they are being calm and quiet. But it's risky. The kids know that when she gets mad it wasn't their fault. They seem to handle it well, but we'll only really know in time. They currently still enjoy hanging out with her, so that's a positive sign.

If you have the same thing, as far as I know there is no way to stop it. But cbt(cognitive behavioral therapy) and things like that can help you be more present and mindful while experiencing those effects. Generally enough to prevent unwanted explosions and extricate yourself to a more comfortable environment to calm down over time.

Goosfraba. seriously though I don't think there can be anything you do but remove yourself from the area unless they are your children. Its sorta funny but I was a way quite kid but I generally get kids. Its like dogs wanting to play. They just want to play. cyring and its like a dog wimpering. somethings wrong. Granted I have no kids and I don't go out of my way to wrangle other folks but it never really bothers me.

I am exactly the same as you. I've stopped caring, neither me nor my friends have kids thankfully. But yeah the sound of kids crying or screaming or throwing a tantrum instantly hits a nerve in my head

I'm curious, how do you feel about being around drunk people while you are sober? Is the problem the children themselves, or is being around someone who is loud, obnoxious, and self centered (which I think describes both children and drunk people).

I'm general, my main advice would be to look into yourself to see what specifically is bothering you and why. That's basically what I assume a therapist would do. Maybe it's something like your own need for attention causes feelings of resentment when someone else is demanding attention. Maybe it's just the loud noises kids make. If it's the kids themselves and not their noise and self-centered attitude, maybe the root is something related to kids resurfacing your own childhood memories/trauma. Once you identify the root of the problem, maybe you can start working toward letting whatever it is go, or at least recognizing in the moment that your not angry at the kid, your angry at whatever issue in yourself you've identified. Understanding what is going on in your own head might at least keep you from screaming at the kid.

I don't know anything though, just a stranger spouting off, so please take this with a giant grain of salt. A professional therapist would obviously be better, but I understand from your other responses that might not be practical for you.

Have you ever spent any one-on-one time having fun with a kid?

No judgement, just curious: I know it's more rare, but do you get the same visceral reaction to grown people throwing immature temper tantrums as well? Or is it limited to just the very young?

I just want to understand if this is more of a distaste for immaturity or if it's only the immaturity of the immature that's giving you that feeling.

I'm no fan of kids, but I don't get this kind of rage myself. I can dismiss myself from the situation long before I struggle with these kinds of feelings.

Have you tried plugging your ears or using noise cancelling headphones?

I don't hate children but children under age 6-8 creep me out. I get a flight response when I am put into a situation where I have to be around a toddler or baby. I have always thought it was an uncanny valley thing though. As soon as they can make complete coherent sentences though, it's awesome. It's incredible to watch them learn, absorb, and have them experience new things.

I struggle with a lot of sounds, having a sensory processing disorder, the list of which is far too long to write out here. So I totally understand the frustration and how rage inducing it is, you are definitely not alone. Especially when people don't understand it's not a patience issue, it's a 'my brain isn't wired the same way as yours and it genuinely cannot be fixed' issue.

Other people have mentioned therapy, which is definitely a good idea. They can help you find ways to channel the energy into something else, or help you find the root cause (if it's a children-specific thing, and not just a general sensory issue), or teach you good cognitive behavioral therapy practices.

In the interim, since finding a good therapist for you can take a lot of time, I would definitely recommend some form of earplugs. Mine have saved me and my sanity so so so many times. If I can recommend a particular pair, I would suggest the Loop Switch, since they let you adjust the sound reduction levels on the fly - but any brand / even the foam tip ones (as long as they fit you properly!) can help immeasurably. For me, just knowing I have earplugs with me helps dealing with these sounds, even if I don't wind up using them, just knowing the option is there. Some form of stress ball or those grip / forearm strengtheners might also be of use for you? It can be a good distraction, as well as allowing yourself to let off some of the steam in a relatively healthy and inconspicuous manner.

And kudos for knowing this is a problem for you, and looking for help on how to improve it. I hope you're able to make progress you want, one way or another. Good luck, OP - we're rooting for you

I would echo the recommendation for counseling. However, is this a larger issue or unique to children? Do you find yourself getting disproportionately angry at other sources of annoyances? Answering that question might help you know whether there is a larger need to address.

How loud is loud? Is it only loud children or children of any volume? How do you feel about loud adults?