No Stupid Questions

Polarization and an us-vs-them attitude has permeated the culture of the United States. IMO it's one way the ruling elites keep us working class people too busy fighting each other to do anything about the corrupt corporations that run everything.

One good way to lower the temperature is to do what you're doing: practice empathy. Folks should always try to empathize with others, especially people they don't agree with. Nobody thinks of themselves as the villain of their own story.

It's helpful if we make a good faith effort to try to understand where other folks are coming from, and try to meet them where they are. Easier said than done in this "Twitter wars" environment, but a necessary tool in digging us out.

Oh so you're part of that group that defends people?

I think it stands to reason that on particular levels you're aligning yourself with "them". But... that's the whole point of empathy...its only when you see pieces of yourself in others that you can empathize with their existence or experience.

I guess its the human tragedy....we're all so much alike in our struggles, it's just the theatres that are different. But for some, that difference is enough to obscure the mirror and people see a monster where its just a reflection.

1: It's extremely common for people to be biased in favour of a group they're part of, since they benefit from that support.

2: It's also extremely common for group members to pretend to be outsiders when supporting their group, precisely because of (1). "Oh well, if this person is supporting the group despite being an outsider, they must be super-altruistic, and therefore their cause must be super-righteous."

3: If a group meets with widespread disapproval, then one way to silence external support for it is accusing the supporter of (2) - suggesting that not only are they one of the hated group, and also showing how dishonest the group members truly are.

4: Dunking on out-group members - especially via (3) - strengthens the bond of the in-group.

Allies are important; haters know that; and so, haters will hate on allies too.

Just consider the history of the term "n—r-lover".

Empathy for other groups isn't universal. For some, they are approaching an opinion from a tribal point of view, and therefore disagreement with the policy is disagreeing with the tribe.

But it can go further than that. I've had cases where I've tried explaining how things work, and people take that as agreeing with it and therefore I'm part of the other tribe. The idea that people are calm and logical is played out many times as being false.

I think it's because no one has the time to actually explain themselves which leads to reactionary events. I dealt with this a lot during 2020. Eventually getting hate from everyone. Also these days social media and news etc has everyone drugged up basically.

There's too much preemptive conversation and not enough reality?

Assholes are very often people who don't understand empathy because they have none.

I wonder if part of it is a lack of patience. So many people, especially online, want to jump to a conclusion as quickly as possible, like what they see in twitter or sms, or similar social media.

While I admit I can be wordy, I’ve been interrupted in conversations after the first few words, where someone has already concluded the opposite what I was trying to say

Anyone who does that is immature and doesn't deserve your consideration.

People make countless baseless assumptions all the time. Educated people do so less, but no one is immune.

because it's easier to make assumptions than to use critical thinking

Because identity politics has taken over peoples ability for abstract thinking: aka if you are A you can't support arguments of B. Bc id you support B you ARE B.

Fuck these post marxist id politics.

pack mentality + ego

especially here

Yup. Circle the wagons! If ya ain't with us then you agin' us! Don't criticize me! And don't tell me to think! If ya hit my knee, I gonna kick! Twitch

Groups are just that fundamental to human psychology.

https://youtu.be/fuFlMtZmvY0?si=htB8ROCkPWWIer-A

This Kurzgesacht video actually touches on it.

This seems more like a rhetorical question than an actual question, since you're mostly answering it yourself.

Are you actually looking for answers, or just making a point?

(I'm not saying your point is invalid, of course...)

Hasn't been my experience, at least not in real life. I get -however- this happens on the internet. Some people barely read your posts and people on social media mostly reply to oppose and/or argue. Not to have a in-depth discussion.

It takes mental effort to defend a group, or to engage in good faith discussion at all, really. People tend to pick up on key buzzwords that get thrown around a lot by certain groups and use those to gauge whether the discussion is going to be worth continuing. Concern-trolling and "I'm just asking questions" is quite common in these contexts, so both sides do this, to be honest.

Inability to entertain the hypothetical https://youtu.be/9vpqilhW9uI

Look at it like this:

You’re in a position of privilege where your sexuality and gender identity are part of what constitutes “normal” for most people. All sexualities and genders are normal, of course, as far as I’m concerned. I’m going to guess by the nature of your post that you’re a cis-gender heterosexual male. You have a bit higher percentage of society that’s going to think of your positions as “normal” than, say, that of a gay man or a trans woman.

It’s like when a white person stands up against racism, or men march for women’s rights. When we tolerate intolerance, we allow it to spread. This is a good use of privilege. It’s expected that a gay person will be against homophobia and that a black person will be against racism. Being a “normal” person and being against those things is, by itself, calling out homophobia and racism. The community can use all the allies it can get.

I would point out one thing though. It sounds like you’re made uncomfortable being associated with the ideas behind the slurs. It’s fine to want to be seen as holding your identity, but it could also be because you harbor some negative stereotypes as well, perhaps unconsciously. I wouldn’t be insulted if someone thought I was black, or Mexican, or a trans man. If it’s an honest mistake on their part I might correct them (because it could lead to an awkward situation), but if someone were to call me an inapplicable slur, it would be just funny, not insulting. I might be offended that they thought it was okay to use such a word as an insult, but not that they thought they could insult me with it.

Defend the police and you are a boot licker on Lemmy.

I thought you were going political, and that has just become so divisive that there rarely seems to be a middle ground or any commonality. I used to think I had a good understanding of “the other side” even if I disagreed, but they might as well be aliens now. I believe that’s way too true in the US, regardless of your affiliation