Ask Lemmy

I was repeatedly called an Oompa Loompa by someone upset about losing Starcraft 2, which sounds pretty tame, but the hatred this person put into his writing.

I dunno why but my man HATED oompa loompas

I once got called an "Ass-born Quasimodo" after beating somebody twice in a row in Hearthstone.

Mine would be "Subhuman Sweden player" on War Thunder.

Not a true American 🤣... I don't even live there 🤣🤣🤣.

It was the first (and last) time I tried Burnout: Paradise online on PS3. I was teamed up with a group that seemed to be doing their own thing and I didn’t really understand what was going on. Eventually I was kicked out for being a “stupid lag fag”.

Playing Town of Salem.

It's a game where some people play good guys some people play bad guys. And every day someone is put up for trial and you have to convince everyone you are a good guy so you don't get hanged.

So. I was put for trial and made a very laboured argument of why I had to be a good guy and shouldn't be hanged.

Someone replied "Fake and gay".

And they hung me. I was a dead bad guy.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Dude said I had a face like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

Fair's fair, though - we'd met IRL, so I guess he was in a position to judge.

From my SOFII days: “Shut your cock holster [anti-Semitic slur]”

Cock holster. Genius.

The other slurry bit was cringe then and still is.

I recently got hit with "western pseudo-intellectual hipster that likes to dance around morals and authenticity"

During Overwatch (solo queue), some guy was all pissy, saying that everyone on our team was throwing, and generally being a jerk. He gets fed up, and says ,"fine, since you all suck, I'm just gonna sit in spawn". And he does. So now, we were 5v6 (OW 1).

But the minute he stops participating, we start winning. And we cap the point. And we start capping the next one too. And I just start laughing and tell him how he must be so bad that he was actually making us worse by participating. He quietly start playing again, but he was so toxic, that I kept teasing him while he waffled for non existent explanations.

He never stopped being a jerk, but I had a really good, memorable match.