ADHD

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Language for "Want" (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by deaf_fish@lemm.ee to c/adhd@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So, I have come to the conclusion that the word "want" in my brain has two closely related meanings.

Something I want right now for the dopamine. Ex Ice Cream.
Something that I want for my self long term. Ex to be healthy.

It is hard enough to organize my thoughts normally, but when I have competing wants like Ice Cream, vs to be healthy. It really sucks to have the same word for both.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is there other words that you use to help separated these ideas in your head?

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[–] Dunstabzugshaubitze@feddit.de 17 points 11 months ago

I think i have roughly three categories for this.

Needs: i need food/ my meds/ a train ticket to get to work

Wants: stuff that i want for me beyond the needs, e.g. hobby stuff like a tripod if one is into photography or dinner in a nice restaurant from time to time

Desires: stuff thats purely for pleasure. Like candy, or a new phone if the old one is still working or very expensive hobby related material, like that carbon tripod with all the bells and whistles, or material i allready own plenty of, like video games.

Asking myself if something is still a want vs a desire stopped some impulse buys, but this desires very very tempting

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I think of it as desires or impulses versus goals.

[–] IanSomnia@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How bout "my brain craves, but I want." Like, I'm craving ice cream but I want to be healthy." It reminds you to make the distinction between bodily urges and your more executive desires, the ones you actually want to inform your behavior.

[–] FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

What’s that saying about how the quintessential neurodivergent experience is making the distinction between your real self/mind and your brain? Relevant

[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 11 months ago

Since I learned CBT I focus on lower brain and upper brain. It doesnt always make perfect scientific sense, and often the "lower brain" is more about fears than other emotions. You may want to try more complex words. Impulse, desire, SMART goal, craving. "Competing wants" sounds like Economics 101 lingo. I'm not gonna give advice, I think I'm struggling with this is same problem in an entirely different way.

[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

It might be a language issue. Like in English you can love ice cream, you can love going hiking and you can love your pet. Same word but… we could do with more nuance. In Spanish there are two different words for “to be”. A temporary versus a permanent state. I am sad (at the moment) versus I am sad (I’ve been clinically depressed my entire life). In English you would probably have to add in a word or two to let the listener / reader know how long you’d been sad for. Trying to get thoughts into language doesn’t always translate perfectly and sometimes we can only get close to the expression we seek. You could try browsing a thesaurus and choosing different words for slightly different feelings. i.e. I desire ice cream vs I seek to be healthy.