i joined up on beehaw recently, just taking the time to check things out now. i've been feeling kind of exhausted with online communication lately, like i need to be mentally prepared to deal with assholes everywhere i go online. i just wanna look at cute animals and interact with people sometimes.
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Valid. I sorta feel the same way. I really hope you find the chill and quiet you need here.
I have so the same feeling. I've been browsing more art boards and just ignoring the news for a bit, it is needed rest.
I'm stressed as hell. I'm sorry you are too. World is on fire, my job melted down this week, my partner may have an inflammatory disease and her contract will be up next summer unless she gets a new job... No idea if we might be moving in the next year... Just spent $2k on my car and there goes my savings... But, I'm hopeful my job we will be better soon, and I'm lucky I have a job that lets me take time off to help my partner. And if we could just get out of summer, and autumn could come...my favorite season, nice cool weather and bright skies - hoping for that, and hoping you find some light too.
Thank you! That sounds like a lot of things to deal with all at once. Wishing you cold weather and better luck. I hope your partner feels better.
I'm new to all this, but honestly feel similar to you, just trying to get by. I want to know who I really am¿but don't wanna get hate-crimed for it you know? I'm in an accepting area, but a bad state, so all it takes is the wrong drunk asshole at the wrong time...
I'm super closeted about everything right now, but I fear for the future as things are.
Yeah! I’m in a very conservative area of a blue state and it’s just like. Hard to accurately assess risk? I’m not exactly closeted but not exactly out. The uncertainty is the woooorst. I hope you find some safety in your life that is definite.
Same to you! I'm hopeful but not too optimistic about the short term, I hope it gets more accepted in the long term.
Health and housing are pretty important for survival, so it's kinda understandable that you're stressed out. Care to go into specifics? Why do you feel like you can't express yourself?
I wrote this last night in a kind of vague mood and can see now I wasn’t at all clear haha. I meant that I’m stressed about the general rising fascism and anti-lgbtqia+ sentiment in the world right now, but because I’m staying with family, I feel I have to be somewhat quiet about my queerness. I have an illness that’s chronic and permanent, which in the U.S. means a lack of financial solubility , which also means perpetually “staying with some relative “ unless affordable housing spots magically appear - so, like a lot of queer people right now I’m just looking at the news like “uhhhhh….seems to be getting bad out there” but not able to talk about it with the people around me. My family is a mix of conflict averse center-right folks and genuinely mean people who are also republicans, which is why I said that I felt I couldn’t fully express my rage right now without potentially jeopardizing my housing or causing circumstances that might worsen my health. There’s a lot to love about life! But this particular political era is NOT my favorite.
Pretty good today, this week's been pretty stressful though
Someone tried to steal my roommate's car and they did a lot of damage to it in the process. It literally can't start right now as they tripped the immobilizer. Unfortunately his insurance doesn't cover a rental car so he's having to pay that out of pocket. His deductible is only $500 but unfortunately he's had some sudden expenses earlier in the month that ate his savings so I had to loan‡ him some cash until payday so he can afford everything that's popped up.
And given that it's the end of the month rent was due on top of that.
Good news is I (technically) had the cash to loan‡ him so he's not completely screwed.
Bad news is I now have to be very careful financially this month as my savings got hit pretty hard a few months ago and it's struggling to recover.
He's still going to have to struggle with getting transport for work but at least we only work 3 days next week.
‡ By loan I mean that I'm letting him be a bit late on paying me his share of rent.
That happened to me a while back. It sucks and feels super violating when someone else has obviously been going through your shit.
I did get a lil laugh out of the fact this car had a weak battery and had been sitting for a few days in a very cold winter. So, somone was putting effort into starting a car with a dead battery 😂
Fortunately we had some savings and with insurance, we were able to make a good enough down payment on a better car.
Particpated in my first art exhibition last night.
Leading up to the event, I was a damn wreck. Anxious, couldn’t eat, clammy, & caught myself swearing for no real reason at all…
But it was a great night.
Fuck yeah.
Oh hey congratulations that is so cool!! Those pictures are gorgeous
Thanks!
Set out to start transitioning MtF at the start of this year. Had some hiccups that had me cancel the appointment and put it off. Back in July I turned 26 (no more healthcare coverage until I get a job) and... there are workarounds to start transitioning anyways, or get healthcare through the marketplace anyways with a life event exception... but seriously I haven't worked on it. I've talked to my Mom about it. She babies me real hard and it saps my confidence in making those phone calls and expressing clearly what I need. Dysphoria is present, but often negotiable and flexible.
That’s really an awesome huge deal that you started the process of transitioning! Seriously that’s huge and cool. Anything involved with the medical establishment will have some delays and hiccups, so don’t feel bad about yourself for not getting it done. It might help to stop talking to your mom about it until it’s more under way? I have some relatives like that, and one thing that makes me feel more motivated about things is keeping details about stuff that are important to me private from them. Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS on the thoughts and feelings and actions and conversations you’ve had about your gender- those are part of transitioning too.
Thank you. You've been a sweetheart.
Really not good latley, got way more disphoric and huge deppresion hit. I have needs I cant fulfill and I can cope with them with alcohol and weed, but it made me fall into alcoholism
I’m still getting over some heart break nearly two months on. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but there are still days where one reminder is enough to ruin me emotionally for the rest of the day.
Hanging in there though and surrounding myself with my friends who have been really awesome to me over these last few months.
Therapy also seems to be taking a turn, so hoping things are on the rise now.
Physically okay, mentally could be better here
I hope some calm, good things happen for you soon.