this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Autism

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I have what I call the Feeling Things Meter. Meaning that in a certain period of time, about one to three days, I have a set amount of feelings I am allowed to feel. If I exceed the number of feelings and fill up the meter I blank out and get to feel nothing at all. I can feel the Meter filling up, and I know when I am about to exceed it.

This also applies to feelings from movies, shows, games books and music. So I have to carefully plan out my entertainment around life events as best I can.

As you can imagine it becomes incredibly hard to navigate adult life with no feelings. And not just the big feelings but the little ones too. No drive to go out and do the shopping. No satisfaction of completeing a task. No disappointment if I screw something up. Nothing.

No one else in my life has this, or anything close to it. Most people look at me like I'm a crazy person when I try to explain it. I'm always making excuses for not wanting to watch movies or shows with friends, or bailing when a sad song comes on.

Please, I just want to know someone else has this problem. Anyone. How do you cope? Do you even listen to music? Do you have to leave movies halfway through becuase you couldn't take it?

I just want to know I'm not alone.

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I don't have a meter (that I know of) in the actual sense, but I call these days "low battery mode" and yes they do happen mostly if the couple days prior have been eventful in one way or another - whether stressful or blissful, that doesn't even matter. On paticularily bad "low battery" days, I don't even feel hunger/thirst and have to force myself to eat and drink the bare minimum. Literally everyhing is a slog for a while then, even things that I normally enjoy. It usually takes a day or two to get better on its own.

....and yes, trying to explain these things to someone who has never experienced the issue firsthand is very difficult. People usually assume I'm just feeling a bit down and need cheering up, not understanding that the things that normally would cheer me up do not have ANY effect at the moment, and that I'm not "feeling down" but don't feel anything at all.

Sadly I haven't found a good way to cope with the issue except for waiting it out until it goes away.

[–] havokdj@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I would say this is likely a regular human thing that we just don't understand. I get like this too, I think it has to do with overstimulation which is mind boggling to me because I am usually bursting with energy.

[–] liztliss@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Emotions take energy, and we all seem to have a limited amount of energy to expend throughout the day, week, or month. But it also seems like it can be practiced and you can build emotional endurance, utilizing different tools that mental health experts have developed, to help extend your limits and prevent you sometimes from feeling completely drained. It does take practice! And some days you'll be affected by things that are just simply beyond your control, such as unexpected interactions and hormones, etc. I've personally found that medication for anxiety helps me to limit the amount of energy I'm expending on emotions because I'm no longer reacting as strongly to everything and being in a constant state of fight or flight, which allowed me the time and space to build my endurance in a healthier way, but it's going to be different for everyone just due to genetics and environment and lifestyle, etc. What you describe specifically sounds a lot like depression, from my own experiences, but you know yourself best. Have you been able to speak with any mental health professionals about your concerns?

[–] TimLovesTech@badatbeing.social 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I have always thought of myself as a battery, and any interaction drains the battery. Big interaction of course take more juice than small things do. Sleeping and interests help to put some juice back into the battery, but if it's been a big drain day/week I'm slow and my mind is almost sludgy until I can get some alone down time to recharge.

Edit - For me, upbeat/jammy music helps with the recharge or at least lowers the drain rate. Sad or emotional music uses juice though so I have skipped tunes before that I know are going to burn some of the reserve I can't afford to allocate to them at that time.