Ask Lemmy

I don't put effort into not being single

Because relationships takes works and I realized that I am happier putting that work into me instead.

Haven't dated since my 20s. Got cheated on a lot. Like all of them. Some of them even bragged about cheating, to my face.

In my 30s, I put 0 effort into dating. The only type of women that wanted to 'date' me basically wanted me to take care of their kids, pay for shit, but they weren't looking for anything serious or any more kids (spoiler, that was a lie). Last person, someone I've known for years, asked if I'd be interested in having kids with her since we are getting close to 40 and neither of us had started a family yet. But, I was to be just a sperm donor, obviously be financially responsible, but have no say in anything with the kids... But it was totally going to be 50/50! Turned her away. That one tore me up because I've really wanted to have kids for a long time. Painfully obvious she just wanted me involved for money and nothing else. Now her mom is bank rolling all her dreams.

I miss having someone to talk to, to make plans with, to share wonderful build a life with. But I don't miss the drama, the games, the cheating, and the lies.

I am single by choice because I am going through mental health relapse. That's never a good time to have a relationship, as much as I would like to have one. For the time being, I realize that the single life is easier and makes the most amount of sense.

Too sad

Decided after my last breakup that i cant do this shit again or i will probably off myself..... Its been 10 years and now i cant remember how to talk to women...

When I was single for much longer than I liked it myself, it was for a large part because, unbeknownst to me, my style of humor was quite hurtful to others, making me quite the asshole. Needed a while to figure that out, because me being the asshole was not an idea that went down well.

My wife realized she wasn't happy being married to a man and left me to date women. There was a lot I think I could have done, but I can't change my gender. Feels bad.

Because I finally came to the conclusion that I'm happier, healthier, and like myself better when I'm a bachelor.

Because no woman close to my age has shown interest in me.

I'm ugly

:)

Dating apps switched to mobile. When we wrote to each other on computers with physical kbds, it was like email and a long-distance conversation. Now it's like text messages and I am not good at smalltalk. I thrived on dating apps in 2010 because I could really express my personality. It got a lot harder when everything became apps instead of websites.

My last breakup was very traumatic, and it'd taken about 5 years to heal from that. Ready to date again, but it's harder now that I'm older.

I’m getting divorced as we speak, nothing is officially signed yet but it will come.

After 13 years of this relationship, I want to be alone at home and won’t be looking for any romance any time soon. Just plain old « enjoyment » and we’ll see what happens in the future.

Cancer

I’m asexual and aromantic. Essentially “no thanks.”

Cuz I'm fuckin lame, ugly, and put off a creepy vibe or something. I was staying at a hotel recently and complimented the lady at the desk on the hair ribbons she always wore. She didn't wear them any more afterwards. After that I feel like I should just give up because clearly nothing is ever going anywhere.

Confidence and weight issues, and I lost? Some of my social skills during the pandemic? I'm not sure how to put it, I feel like I can't speak anymore.

I'm a lesbian in a small town 🫠

Because I'm not in a relationship

The mental block and also the fatigue from the last break up 2 years ago.

For the first time in my life i actually want to be Single. Previously it was always that i didn't want to be single but now i am Single and kinda happy with it

After my divorce, covid hit, and i got comfy being single.

I don't try and I just don't feel the need to.

Aro/ace here so no real interest beyond friendships for me.

I don't hate the idea of some companionship but I have little tolerance for dealing with another person over the long term. I like my life of doing what I want, when I want.

I'm also ace spec with no particular drive to have sex with another person, so that makes staying single easy. I see a lot of people get into relationships because that's the way they get sex, but honestly, that seems exhausting to me. Sex just doesn't have that much value to me.

I don't think dating apps are for me. Previous relationships did not work out. Despite having similar interests we were very incompatible. Filters do very little when people aren't being entirely truthful. For example, last person's profile said she never smokes and only drinks socially, but she smoked weed, vaped, and drank daily.

I stopped caring

I’m not a person I would want to date, so why would I expect anyone else to? I’m selfish, have very little emotional intelligence and am bad at prioritizing anything beyond myself.

Honestly even if someone wanted me I’m not sure I could put up with having to consider a second person when making decisions anymore. Sure it’s nice to have someone to do things with and to share things with, but I don’t find it worth it any longer.

yes

I've only had one SO in my entire life. I was so deeply in love with her, but she had several mental health issues that made it really difficult and traumatic. Imagine a relationship in which one is not ready to have said relationship, and the other has no experience whatsoever in relationships. It was total chaos, and ended pretty badly.

Before this relationship I was completely obsessed with having a soul mate. I was constantly depressed because I wasn't able to find a partner,.because there was nobody I was interested in to begin with.I thought I was broken. Turns out that, while I am able to have romantic feelings, I fall somewhere in the asexual spectrum. This means I actually don't have any interest in anybody, unless I get to know that person and fall in love with them. But this has happened just two or three times in my life.

Right now, after my failed relationship, I've come to terms with the fact that I don't really need , nor want, to be with anybody to be happy. Just like some of you, I appreciate my alone time and being "free", not having any sentimental responsibility... So that's why I'm single; because I want to.

Needed to figure some stuff out about myself after a break up. Now it's just getting out there and letting things happen organically.

Aspergers

I don't feel any great urge to be with someone. I had two LTRs with little time between them from when I was about 17 through to 28. I've been single now for around 18 months.

While I'm grateful for the experiences across both my relationships and have a lot of happy memories from them, I am quite okay being with myself for now.

I got married last week. Before meeting this person I never thought there would be someone for me. Anyways if you want to be single thats fine. If you don't: try putting yourself out there and ya never know what'll happen.

I work nights and prioritize my kid when I am awake. If I met a nice vampire lady I might try to change my situation.

vaguely points at everything

I might also be too lazy to put any work on dating apps. Maybe I should start that again.

She likes my best friend lmao

Because I can't find a woman and the only women who find me are awful.

I've been oblivious to the few women that were interested in me, and I'm too shy or social inept to do anything with women anyway.

I don't need another person to live my life the way I want to live it. So if they bring something I don't already have and make my life better, I keep them as friends

SSRIs. Yeaaaah!