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how's your week going, Beehaw (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by alyaza@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

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hello Beehaw, it's a sleepy morning--and i did not get very much sleep. luckily i have no social priorities so this is not a big deal. currently reading a number of books after completely crashing out of doing that for the entire month of June. i think i can get about 3 in before the end of the month, we'll see

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[–] Rudith@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hey!

I'm actually having a really sad week. My mother had a heart attack on Saturday evening (really unexpected, no history, they still don't know why) and collapsed. She lost oxygen to her brain for about 10 minutes. I'm trying to help my family and my dad through this time and I am finding anecdotes about people recovering (even if hard fought) but it's hard because she is still not really responding to verbal communications. I remain hopeful that it will get better but can't help the intrusive thoughts that the wonderful woman who raised me may be gone.

If anyone has been in a situation similar and has advice, I am all ears!

I apologize for the downer, and hope everyone else is doing better than I am.

[–] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago

Not exactly the same but my grandmother had a stroke that left her unable to care for herself although mostly mentally intact. She was miserable and never adjusted. It was hell, and everyone was relieved when she died. I know that sounds horrible but there was nothing we could do to ease her suffering.

All I can really say is that brain injuries are awful, even if things turn out as well as they can the road there is going to be hell. Remember to take care of yourself, you'll have days of grief and anger when you think thoughts you're not proud of. Do not judge yourself too harshly, or your family.

You will need time and space to grieve and it's going to be very hard to get that at the moment. Try to make space when you can, and understand that everyone else needs that too. You will need support, your friends and extended family might avoid bring your mum up believing that it spares you suffering to avoid thinking about the situation. You might need to be quite explicit with your needs around emotional support, conversations, venting, and advice.

I am sorry, my heart goes out to you. Generally the prognosis for brain injuries isn't good, and it's probably best to set expectations around that to avoid self blame and another round of grief if things don't improve. That said stimulation is important for brain healing, particularly early on. Try to chatter, ask questions etc even though you might not get a response. Play music she likes, try to do things around her/in view. Try physical therapy stuff if she's mobile. Even gentle movement of limbs by another person can help prompt re-connection of neural pathways.

Good luck

[–] neamhsplach@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I'm so sorry to hear that. My apologies, I can't say I have any specific advice from a place of experience. I hope you have a strong support network outside of your immediate family that you can lean on at the moment, it's hard to find space for yourself and your own emotions when you're also trying to support other people. I wish you and your family all the best x