this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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The time Jesus, as a child, went into a church to disrupt the loan sharks operating out of it.
Methuselah fighting God, putting him in a headlock, and then demanding to be blessed.
He did not flail the money changers at the temple as a child, he did that as an adult, roughly a week or two before he was crucified.
As a child, he began teaching the scriptures outside of the temple, and shocked the rabbis with his knowledge of scripture.
...random thought chain:
What if Jesus simply was on spectrum and he hyoerfixated on the scriptures but then got pressured by family who saw as a "gifted" child into the whole belief he's a god?
This is actually not implausible at all, that is fairly close to how a lot of more modern, or well documented cults develop... and Jesus was far from the only roaming preacher in the Levant, +/- roughly 150 years of his life.
Basically, the scholarly, academic consensus is that Jesus probably was a real person, probably did do and say some of the things recorded in the what later became the New Testament.
A huge reason why this is the general consensus is that there exists a whole bunch of evidence of whole bunch of other, similar, small sects/cults based around a singular, apocalyptic, charismatic preacher, between roughly 200 BC and 100 AD, in or around Palestine.
Also, if you want some extreme hilarity, I present to you the apocryphal, non canonical, Infancy Gospel of Thomas.
https://www.gospels.net/infancythomas
Jesus is basically a magical 5 year old child with superpowers, who struggles to use them responsibly.
Jesus makes living sparrows by molding clay.
Upon being chastised for doing this by another child, Jesus curses this other kid, who withers and dies on the spot.
Another random person jostles Jesus, who curses him, and this guy also dies on the spot, just falls dead.
He curses some more people and they all become blind.
After all this, Joseph takes Jesus to a teacher, to be tutored and taught restraint, and Jesus basically says the teacher isn't shit, to his face.
The teacher then struggles to teach Jesus how to read, despairs, begs Joseph to take him away, while Jesus is still shit talking him...
Yeah. There are a whole lot of extremely wild non canonical gospels and other early Christian texts, but the Infancy Gospel basically is an AuDHD child Jesus being a right(eous) little shit, lol.
The whole healing people for free stuff isn't bad, either
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