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Let me take a different tack and remind myself of our points of agreement:
I think that we both agree that the worker is valuable, and that their work is valuable. You have indicated as much.
I think we can both agree that the worker is not being paid fairly for their work in the current system. I don't think you would entertain the discussion otherwise.
I think we can both agree that the current system of tipping is inherently problematic- you pointed out that "people have a right not to tip, but are wrong for doing so" or something to that effect.
I'm willing to bet, with a lesser but still decisive confidence than those other three propositions:
You probably think the employer is (in principle) chiefly responsible for fair compensation of their employees, or you at least recognize this is the case in any non-tipped position. (ie that tipped compensation is an exception to the norm)
I'm putting myself out on a limb to infer:
We probably also agree that if congress instituted a fair living minimum wage pegged to inflation across the board for all, or at least abolished the sub-minimum wage tipped compensation limit, we wouldn't need to be having this discussion.
Please correct me if I have put any words in your mouth.
Any words you may have put in my mouth ( I don't think you did but I'm on a 12 hour shift while we're having this discussion so I don't have the energy to check what I've already said) are ones I agree with. I do think we agree on the most important parts of what we've talked about (as you've laid out here).
I'm gonna put a pin in this for tonight. Thank you for the discussion.
Have a good night. I may not return to this discussion tomorrow, but it's been nice talking to you.