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How to get past this (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Pherenike@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My father insists on a version of past events that is not true, where he supposedly helped me pay off debt when in reality I paid it off by working FOR YEARS. He doesn't say it as something he's proud of, but something I owe him and haven't "thanked" him for (?). He is extremely stubborn and old enough to definitely not remember things well.
He does this kind of thing with my siblings as well and it's come to the point where we feel that all we really were for our father was a money burden, be it true or not that he helped us financially at some point. How can I come to terms with the fact that he's not gonna acknowledge the truth no matter how many times I explain it to him, despite the anger and frustration I feel towards him for claiming something he actually DIDN'T do for his kid while minimizing my own work and effort?

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[–] Vaggumon@lemm.ee 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"Well, if you helped me pay off this debt then you should have some sort of proof. No? Well then, guess it didn't happen."

[–] Pherenike@lemmy.ml 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Did that, and guess what, he said he'd given it to me in cash. Convenient, eh?

[–] Vaggumon@lemm.ee 16 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

"Well guess that was dumb of you then. Bye." I know this is hard as he's your dad, but sometime you just need to walk away. I've not spoken to 90% of my family in over 20 years due to narcissistic, selfish behavior. Your peace is far more important then any relationship. I wish you luck and hope you can figure out a solution.

[–] Pherenike@lemmy.ml 5 points 5 days ago

Thank you.