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Maybe easier to try. But flinch or move at the last moment, and you could wind up a vegetable instead of dead. At which point you won't be able to try again, and you'll be stuck living like that.
Wouldn’t the margin of error kinda depend on the size of the bullet, and the speed of medical treatment. Like if I delayed thing a half hour, wouldn’t I just die a painful death rather than instant one. And if the bullet was large enough wouldn’t it do enough damage to kill me regardless
Not really. There are a lot of variables, and it's not as cut and dry as many people think.
Bullet ballistics are complicated. A bullet's size, weight, speed, shape, and composition are all factors, as are barrel length, rifling twist ratio, gas pressure, and probably a bunch of other stuff I'm forgetting.
And then, shot placement is another huge factor in lethality. A small bullet in the "right" place can kill, a big bullet in the "wrong" place can leave you alive.
Then you add to that the funny dichotomy of the human body being both really fragile and extremely resilient at the same time, and you get people surviving all sorts of things that for all intents and purposes should have killed them.
Look... I can't say that I know what you're going through, because there's no way that I really can - your experiences are your own.
But I can tell you this - I know about the darkness and hopelessness. I've been led to it by my own experiences, and have been consumed by it to the point I thought suicide was the only means of escape.
But I was wrong. There were other ways out, and I did escape. And you can, too. If you want to.