this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2024
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God, he sounds insufferable. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Mine was an abusive meth head. Beat and berated my brother, my mother, and me all the way up until CPS took us out when I was 15. I was terrified of men for a long time, and I can still be pretty standoffish with them, even at 32. I can remember being 8 years old, washing dishes. I dropped a glass. It broke. The next thing I knew, I was suspended 3 feet in the air by my neck and being thrown into a wall. For dropping a glass.
I always loved my mother. I was given her phone number recently, but I've been hesitant to call. I know she's with a different man these days and is genuinely happy with him. He's good to her. She finally left my father after he broke several of her ribs, punctured a lung, and nearly killed her. I know she was always scared he'd kill her if she left, but I suppose that she got so close to it that death didn't seem like such a bad alternative to the life she had with him.
So yeah, the day he breathes his last will be cause for celebration in my circle.
Call your mom. She sounds pretty normal, though traumatized of course. She probably had PTSD and you do too.
My dad never beat me or my brother beyond spanking. He did hit my mom though. One New Year's Eve when I was about 9, he came home shitfaced and hit and screamed at my mom. I laid in bed pretending to be asleep as he broke every plate in the house in the kitchen while screaming. He cut himself pretty bad at some point and began slinging the blood everywhere. I heard him go in the shower so I got up and my mom was in the kitchen floor cleaning up the broken dishes and blood.
She died five years ago from alcoholism and starvation.
I used to fantasize about killing my dad. Sometimes even had dreams where I did, for years. He constantly harassed my mom with lawsuits and custody fights, just trying to waste my grandparents money on lawyers. He made good money, we were broke. He got the court to lower his child support to $100 per month just to make her life shittier. My mom was a pathetic pushover so she just didn't fight these cases except the custody ones. He didn't even want us, he just wanted to fuck with my mom. I remember I had to quit the basketball team because he told my mom he was going to kidnap me from there. He was a deranged asshole. He got off on using the system to fuck with her. He also pulled a gun on three people that I know of. Crazy fucker. His dad once drowned a sack of puppies in a river.
I'm good now though. I mean I'm severely mentally ill but my medications have helped a lot. And I've beaten my alcoholism.