Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Any dumb and vaguely open-ended advice. Like "just be yourself".
What if you're improving yourself because the real you sucked? Do you just give that all up and return to what you were? Whoever first said that piece of advice, obviously didn't think it through enough.
It's not "don't ever change." It's just saying don't pretend to be something that you aren't. You most likely can't keep that going forever and that's one reason why many people feel like their SO changes after being together for a while.
It can be a great compliment when someone knows you well enough to see that you're overthinking things. Too many times it's just thrown around without thinking it through and that ruins it for everyone
Yeah thanks * adult * for the advice, why don't you try AuDHD and see what you think of it - or rather what others think of you when you just * be yourself *
Grow up and stop being a sensationalist.
think I did something wrong back then
"Just be yourself" always feels like non-advice when it appears as an answer to a question like, "What should I do?" That's because it's secretly negative advice. As in, it doesn't tell you what you should do, it only tells you what you shouldn't do. It's code for, "Don't pretend to be something you aren't". Don't pretend, don't lie, don't put on a facade you can't keep up.
Technically good advice, yes. But it's the equivalent of being behind the controls of a plane you don't know how to fly and the pilot is incapacitated, and your question of "How the hell do I fly this thing?" being met with, "Well, for starters, don't jerk the stick and flip the plane over." Wowee gee, thanks for the tip.
"act normal"
"what do you mean act normal? I'm acting!?"
just because you were that person doesn't mean you are now. the advice still holds