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Oddly enough, talking is what you might need to prepare for talking to your friends. Talking can help you organize your thoughts in a way that sitting around alone and thinking can't.
However, a fair chunk of that comes from verbalizing your thoughts even if there's no feedback. That's why rubber duck debugging (explaining your programming issues to an inanimate object like a rubber duck) is a thing.
So if you feel uncertain about bringing up things with your friends before you've ordered your thoughts, try explaining things to an inanimate object or imaginary stranger first. That forces you to put at least some order into your thoughts just so you can put them into words.
Or explain them to people on the internet, of course.
Sorry if I'm rambling. Going for abstract advice is kinda my way of dealing with such problems. But rest assured that I'm rooting for you.
Thanks!
I've recently gotten a new manager at work and his focus is software development. He actually showed me his literal rubber duck and explained why he had it.
Verbalising does help a little so I do try to talk about stuff a lot.