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"European customs and values" is a bit hard to define I feel. The eastern European states are quite different from the rest. Poland and Sweden are in stark contrast to one another, as is even Sweden and Germany.
I'd like to say that the EU is quite strongly in favour of democracies, which Turkey definitely isn't. I've a dear friend who basically didn't dare discuss politics because of the potential fallout that could have on his job and living situation. He's since moved away from Turkey and his life has improved dramatically.
It's difficult for me as a Swede to reconcile the fact that speaking out against the state could land me in hot water. Like I can call our PM a bag of dicks, and make poop-caricatures of any parliament member all day if I wanted to, and it wouldn't necessarily have any fallout beyond burning some bridges with people.
Turkey's also heavily religious conservative, and as a gay person that doesn't sit well with me. That extends to all currently-in-the-EU countries that match that description as well, though.
I think you touched on the main aspects where things are different. Although, yes, there are many cultural differences across Europe as well (and I see that as a strength) they don’t run as deep. I would add my worry about their treatment of the Kurd minority. To be fair, however, things do change over the years, and there are a couple more countries that have turned for the worse, IMO.
Oh yeah, the treatment of the Kurds is harrowing. During the early days of Sweden's bid for NATO, Turkey asked for a lot. They gave us lists of people to be extradited, and even made requests for our constitution to be changed to accommodate this. Basically extortion.
Needless to say, Turkey (and Hungary) hasn't exactly garnered a lot of goodwill here in Sweden lately. A part of me is even a bit bummed out about the NATO thing, because the idea of allying with Turkey, and potentially having to deploy troops to defend them should it come to that, doesn't sit well with me.
That a good thing which comes from a larger coalition. The more countries involved that won't attack each other, and the more counties that will aid other countries in the coalition if needed, the less likely there is a need to raise those defenses. I'm glad to see Finland and Sweden joining, not because of the troops and resources they might commit, but because it improves everyone's self sovereignty, including those nations which aren't full members.
Quite the shock when Erdogan tried to blackmail his country into the EU. I hope Sweden will also not give in when it comes to burning religious books.
I would say there is a huge difference in culture and values when comparing to those people from Turkey who are very conservative or religious. We even have some here who voted in Germany for Erdogan!
But the difference isn't that big with secular, non-conservative people. It is like Turkey has two sides.