this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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Me: We haven't evolved much in 800 thousand years. Can you please make me stop craving sugar?
Brain: Do drugs, get mad for no reason
Me: what
Brain: Here's a dream about having sex with Barney the Dinosaur
You too?
Et tu, Barney?
As if my brain would let me sleep. We have minor social faux pas from 15 years ago that we need to review again.
Fight or flight response activated!
But the danger is gone, what do you want me to d-
FIGHT OR FLIGHT THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW
🎼 Barney is a dinosaur for your ejaculation, and when he’s tall he’s what we call an orgasmic sensation
Thanks brain!
Hey can you let me forget that cringey thing I did at summer camp? I'm in agony and it's been thirty years
I'm sorry, did you mean 'can I forget that important thing'?
BECAUSE YES YOU CAN!