this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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[–] Hux@lemmy.ml 54 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (5 children)

The Cabinet list so far, as it was officially leaked moments ago on NudeAfrica.com:

State - Matt Gaetz

Treasury - Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino

Interior - A t-shirt cannon

Justice - DraftKings®

Agriculture - owner of that McDonald’s

Commerce - currently accepting bids

Labor - Immortan Joe

Defense - Vladimir Putin

Housing and Urban Development - it’s Trump, so probably Herschel Walker, ffs

Transportation - Elon Musk’s twitter account

Energy - V. Putin

Health and Human Services - sold off and privatized between Nestlé, Saudi Aramco, and Ticketmaster

Education - Kid Rock, Marjorie Taylor-Greene, and Lauren Boebert, and all sewn together as a human centipede

Veterans' Affairs - Captain Morgan; under secretaries Jack Daniels and Jim Beam

Homeland Security - Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, once the check clears

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Just need Camacho on that list.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Poor Camacho gets shit for being thick, but when the world's smartest man turned up he asked his advice gave him a job. Eventually.

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 1 points 6 hours ago

That is a very valid point. He had the strength to yield. The problem with our real world Camacho is he's too weak to do that.

[–] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 21 points 19 hours ago

Satire is dead. I earnestly predict at least one more pick on this list proves actually true.

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 9 points 20 hours ago

The Onion writers: "Let's go with this one, the real picks are too over the top."

[–] Tujio@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

Matt "Pizza" Gaetz

Kristi "Ol Yeller" Noem

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Housing and urban development will probably be that guy who owns Monarch real estate investment. Large scale slumlord.