Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
I'm not sure anyone can neatly tie up relationships in a little bow on here, or if they can they are a world class philosopher, lover, writer. It's humanity's oldest hangup, the first subject of our music, the basis for wars and religions and suicides. Some people have a detached, dutiful feeling towards relationships, especially the more fundamentalist types. They see a marriage as a contract, and a duty to God, and the 'sentimental part' is tertiary. Others are extravagant romantics, devoting the whole of their passions and agonies to expressions of love, episodes of hot sex and dazzling adventures. Most people are somewhere in the middle of these extremes. I don't think that any one way is right or wrong, as long as both parties are happy and there is no abuse involved.
For myself, I'm definitely a more passionate person. I am a deep feeler, I get rocked with sentiment and fears and all of the other emotions on a daily basis. My partner is a big part of my life, and it was crazy to imagine that when I had the realization. I've always been a loner, fascinated to and attracted to women, wanting sex with a burning need, and by the time I'd met her I had already slept with maybe five women, but the moment you don't just 'have sex' but actually make love with someone, it causes a change in your psyche that you can't really return from. It sets a benchmark for intimacy for your life.
My partner is a cool-headed, serene stoic. She has an impeccable sense of time management, she remembers birthdays and presents and wishes like nobody I've ever met. She's also far more muted in her expressions of love. She won't write a three paragraph message on a forum about romance like I am here, but she would write me a little note on the mirror saying "Have a good day at work, I love you". That push and pull of our different energies gives us so much fuel for our relationship. Someone to chase, someone to be chased. Tale as old as time...