A Boring Dystopia

That part is true, but that doesn't mean you need to lurch into conspiratorial thinking to try to explain it.

There's a much simpler explanation: the Democrats did what their large corporate donors forced them to do in order to continue receiving the bribes.

It's corrupt, but it's neither a conspiracy nor required any sort of coordination with the Republicans. It's simply an emergent property of a plutocratic system.

The system itself has to be dismantled; singling out the participants in it for individual/single group blame feels good and is morally justified, but doesn't actually work to solve the problem.

In other words, you largely aren't wrong, but you wrote it in a way that made you sound like an unserious nutjob. If your goal is to persuade, you should rethink your phrasing.