this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
112 points (98.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26734 readers
1600 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

My daughter is 5 now. She's discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I've also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.

What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? "Fsssssh" (only works if you say it out loud, and they know how to spell)

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The start of one of my favourites, that fell completely flat.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What big brown and sticky? A big stick.

What brown and hurt if it fall on you from a tree? A piano.

Que flat confused look.

5 years olds can be a tough crowd.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Gonna jump in here so you teach your kid right:

Cue, pronounced "Q," is the spelling for "time to go on stage or say your line " or in this case, "time to look confused."

Qué is pronounced "K" and is basically Spanish for what, although "por qué?" is "Why?"

I know that because of the old joke about the lady crying at her husband's coffin "Por qué, por qué?" And the coffin opened and said "Butter." But the reference is too old.

Anyway Queue is the last one, it's English English, pronounced "Q" and means people standing in a line, just as all the silent letters are.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

There's a few spellings I apparently have blind spot for. That is definitely one of them.

[–] witty_username@feddit.nl 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought queue came from French

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Originally, yes.

But in present usage Americans say "line" while Brits say "queue."

I'm not sure about other Anglophone places.