this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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I understand the anger at the statements. They are visceral and immediately labelling. I've found that it is good to understand these taglines as simplified mantras, such as "don't talk to the police". It is meant as a heuristic for women's safety, and so long as you understand that you yourself aren't dangerous, the tagline does not apply to you. It also lets you know exactly where women are coming from: why they only use the restroom in groups, why they aren't going to give you an outright answer most of the time, and why they will keep their distance until they know you.
I'd argue that these behaviors should not be gender-coded and should be practiced by both men and women, and that vilification of violent outbursts , and similar sexist tropes, should also not only apply to men. It is explicitly sexism which puts this barrier up, where women being violent is downplayed, and men who use women's playbooks are viewed as less masculine.
These are issues of the same coin, which is a divide created by both genders applying different stereotypes to one another and then operating based on those stereotypes