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It is an actual phenomenon in psychology, where you assign a set of your attributes that you consider undesirable to another person. It works like a defence mechanism to stabilise the psyche. It is not that commonly discussed though - except perhaps in psychoanalysis.
And that's exactly why those "keyboard psychologists" (who are neither psychologists, nor informed laymen) repurposed the term into the "no u!" defence that I mentioned. It's simply too good of an excuse when someone criticises them, an easy way to turn the criticism against the critic.
That's the other confusing part to me. I might be of a scrutinizing nature, but the part of me that is able to put myself in others' shoes cannot imagine for the life of me the act of projection as a psychological urge. As I think of that, one of two thoughts either come to mind, that either this is another instance of the phenomenon of Stockholme Syndrome (which only pop psychologists are saying is that common) or it's one of those obscure neurodivergent phenomena (not saying that as a form of judgment, just that maybe, I think, their inner workings work differently enough for it to be a thing).
Coming from someone who values her tactical side, dare I say projection seems maladaptive if I'm underestimating its social value, like it's another instance of how sarcasm took centuries to become normalized as an oral literary device.