this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Fruit Loops! (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by yesman@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 

The Proud Boys have an initiation ritual where new members are beaten by the group until they can recite the names of five different breakfast cereals.

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[–] yesman@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Obviously this frat-boy shit is dumb, but if you had to figure out if someone was a real American or a spy, this would be an excellent way to do it.

Like if someone said "I eat musli" or "I like grape nuts" you could go ahead and shoot the spy.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Grape nuts was one of the first American cereals

[–] loie@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Yeah and everyone who ever ate it was like "oh god, no" and immediately came out with a better cereal.

Like corn flakes. Itty bitty tortilla chips make a better cereal than fucking grape nuts.

[–] VelvetStorm@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You can go fuck yourself because they are great on their own or mixed in yogurt.

[–] loie@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Lol I actually do like them with honey. Oh and honey bunches of oats is just corn flakes with granola, that's good too.

[–] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Corn flakes were famously invented to discourage fucking one's self.

[–] Agrivar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Found the spy!

Quick, somebody shoot 'em!

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Corn Flakes were invented independently by one of weirdest people ever.

[–] disgrunty@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

"Weird" feels like such a mild way to describe John Harvey Kellogg.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Corn Flakes were invented to intentionally be so soul-crushingly bland it would destroy your urge to masturbate.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I didn't say it wasn't American, I said it's not American to eat it. No American has ever purchased, much less consumed grape nuts. They don't even put the product in the boxes anymore. Just some led shot and asbestos to give it weight and they change out the box design every once in a while. They've been doing this since the 80s, it has to remain on the shelves to satisfy the terms of a demonic contract.

Before that, Grape Nuts was funded by the dentist lobby hoping to cash in on all those broken teeth. But nobody ever bought any and the dentists gave up.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

I meant it in a way that implies Americans love American things. Compared to muesli, which sounds like some European stuff.

[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

I was born in California to parents born in New Jersey and Illinois, have been an American citizen since birth, and have bought and eaten Grape-Nuts multiple times.

It was in my house growing up quite a few times. Granted, my mom is Mexican but my dad was white/American. They both loved that shit.

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Poor steve1989

[–] Mammothmothman@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Grape nuts and muslix are delicious. You unwash philistine.

[–] BuckWylde@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Grape Nuts fuck