this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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I've been thinking about this for a while. I lost touch with all my 'friends' from University. They all seemed to stay together as a group after graduation, but I always felt sort of unwelcome. I thought about trying to reconnect recently, but the only thing that actually connects me to those people was a shared time and space well over a decade ago. Apply this to everyone I ever knew as a friend - most of the time the relationship was based on proximity and necessity alone. I'm romanticising old relationships (like an ex), when in reality we've all lived different lives and grown in different ways and likely no longer align with each other.
Truly right now, I have no friends. Just connections to people I no longer meaningfully identify with. I want to go out and make friends, but I don't know how to. And I want those friendships to be deep and meaningful, but I'm not sure how I'd find that. I've made a sort of peace with that - friendship will come, when it's the right person and the right time. I don't want to force it.
I'm kind of in the similar situation right now.
My university friend group kind of drifted away due to pandemic and other circumstances.
Now I don't really have much interactions with them unless my GF and some of our mutual friends get together. It became more like My GF just dragging me around along her friends.