this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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politics

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[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 192 points 2 months ago (3 children)

"please don't fuck over the american people and shut down the government, in a short sighted gotcha because that would ruin my long-term plans to fuck over the american people."

-Bitch McConnell

[–] RunningInRVA@lemmy.world 56 points 2 months ago (2 children)

His long term plans of fucking Americans were complete long before this election cycle.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] RunningInRVA@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Does he? I thought he kept freezing up and then slithering away.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago

He freezes in shock when someone discovers and destroys one of his Horcruxes.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

People like that?

Always scheming. Always.

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

He was running low on his Unicorn blood transfusion

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not if we can find and destroy all of his horcruxes

[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

How are we gonna destroy Ted Cruz's beard?

TBH I never expected this. As he declines from old age ( as I inferred from https://apnews.com/article/mitch-mcconnell-senate-republican-leader-stepping-down-ba478d570a4561aa7baf91a204d7e366 and https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/watch-mitch-mcconnell-freeze-press-conference-rcna96486 ) he's actually becoming a reasonable, sensible politician.

Well, on second thought, I'm being too optimistic.

[–] JesusSon@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's Moscow Bitch McConnell to you buddy

[–] ravhall@discuss.online 8 points 2 months ago

It’s weird how all the Republicans have the same first and middle name

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Moscow's bitch McConnel can fuck off to that village the got for american expats. You know. The one right next to the front lines.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The one that somehow, in a way that only Minecraft and Escher could pull off, is only stairs and high windows?

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I mean... I wouldn't trust the construction...

(or anything else. I'd just assume that anyone who took that offer would be off to the war in ukraine.)

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Does he even have long term plans? After his little "episodes"... last year? God, time is weird now.