Hey! Bi cis male here, the few men I seem to go on dates with always seem to have some hangup. I'm not gay enough, I'm married to a women, hates vegans, hates trans people. It's really exhausting to the point that first dates feel like I'm interviewing them.

[–] InquisitiveApathy@lemm.ee 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's really exhausting to the point that first dates feel like I'm interviewing them.

If it's a first date, you are interviewing them. I'm sorry it feels exhausting for you though.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 22 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I get what you mean but it shouldn't feel like that. I shouldn't be searching for something they might hate me over.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, when I met my wife the first time it was the opposite of exhausting. I felt like I could keep talking all night.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago

Dude same. It was really easy to date before 2016. First date with my wife we kept talking until the bar closed.

Now you have to look into your meeting spot make sure nothing problematic happened there. I was lucky that my enbyfriend friend was in the music scene when I was because I already knew a lot about them before our relationship started.

Now if someone is interested in me. I'm always skeptical. I recently got asked to help this straight lady cheat on her husband because she wanted to create strife for a divorce. Like who TF what's to be involved with that stress?

[–] InquisitiveApathy@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago

I agree, it shouldn't feel like that. As someone who is bi and queer though, on top of all the normal trials and tribulations of dating there's also a long list of people who don't think I have the right to exist. I'd rather find out they're a hate filled asshole as soon as possible so I can move on with my life. At this stage I won't meet someone face to face unless we've chatted extensively online already. Even though I'm dooming hard I do still hope you find someone 😊

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

you should probably write up a "if you don't like this shit you shouldn't talk to me" copy and paste to cut down on this somehow.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

As a straight man I could say similar things about most of the women I've dated. It's not a men problem or a women problem, it's just how dating is. Nobody's perfect and it's hard to find someone that fits with you.

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 weeks ago

you mean to tell me that most people don't believe the majority of the things you do? That's weird.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Men are hot, but I'm more pessimistic about finding a guy I'd want a relationship with than finding a girl. As a transfem, I'd have an easier time finding a guy, but a majority would probably be abusive or chasers. There might be fewer women, but it'd be safer(women are more likely to be progressive) and they'd be more into me as a person. It'd be harder to hookup, but easier to find a gf than bf.

Even transmascs would be better than cis dudes because they're almost certainly not bigoted chasers that were raised to see women as goals instead of people.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago

My wife would agree I suspect. She's transfem, and basically considered herself a lesbian until she met me.

[–] nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago

As a bisexual guy, this is not at all my experience with non-straight men. They seem to be mostly cool and well socialized.

[–] TayamExplorer@discuss.online -4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wow! Sample size: 1. Sure showed them, buddy.

Clearly not bi, btw, you're a misandrist. Congratulations 🎉!

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I've never seen someone so pissed off and offended over not getting any bussy lmao