I'm such a man that I've had sex that my penis resembles an angel hair pasta noodle made of veiny leather. I'm such a sex laden stud that I can fuck any crevice now. I've reached peaked masculinity by being able to top any nook or cranny. Behold and be shamed.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 73 points 1 month ago

The couch beckons, Vance

[–] MrMcGasion@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'll be impressed when you that down to a subatomic size so you can fuck a solid block of steel because your penis fits in the space between the atoms.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 month ago

Tunnnnghsten baby

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Mine can split atoms. Very explosive climax.

[–] prex@aussie.zone 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Wanna see my downstairs mixup?

[–] BigFatNips@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 month ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

[–] hate2bme@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I started with a little peen and was still able to pleasure women.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago

I use mine to scrape crumbs out of my keyboard.