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How do you get over the fact that not everyone will like you? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 3 months ago by PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

61 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It’s obvious and you would be deluded into thinking everyone you interact with likes you.

But how do you feel it?

Context: I’m a course instructor and I get direct reviews on my lessons and around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

There’s less than 5% of my reviews that have real negative and non-constructive comments. Things like accusations of being incompetent or unprepared or full of shit, etc. They mention times I had technical difficulties or made a mistake (like giving an incorrect response)

Just by the numbers alone this is a very small minority overall. Yet these comments stick in my head and make me doubt my abilities.

So what are your strategies or ways you drown out this stuff?

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[–] z00s@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

As a teacher I can say that in every class- adults or teenagers- there will be 5-10% who will love you no matter what, 5-10% who will dislike you no matter what, and everyone else will be in between.

You have to learn not to take it personally because it isn't; you're just the body in the room when they happen to be feeling shitty about their day, their life, their job etc.

Also remember that some people will just tick 10/10 in every category because they can't be bothered to do it properly, so don't let that go to your head either.

What you need to do is reduce it to pure numbers. Weight loss, for example, is not about how you feel or even how you look; only the scales will tell you the complete and accurate results without bias.

What you can measure, you can manage. Look at average scores over time across multiple categories. Is there a trend? If it's negative, then write up a plan to fix it. If it's positive, write up how you achieved it. Then show it to your boss and get a raise.

At the end of the day the shitty commenters want you to think about them. I usually just laugh; there's always one in every group.